Sales guy #1: What the hell is that? Is that where you keep your change?
Sales guy #2: Yep.
Sales guy #1: I was like, “what kind of horse pills are you on?”
Sales guy #2: It's my anal suppositories.
Sales guy #1: Dude, I'm like a porn star. I make anal depositories! Recognize!
Bonner Springs, Kansas
Boss: She's not here again today. I think she has her period… I'm sure it's either that or something is wrong with her cats.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: always here and on time
Boss on phone: What do you mean she's canceling the meeting? (pause) Delayed? Why? (pause) She has breast cancer? That's great! (pause) Oh no! I must have cut out, I said “that's a great tragedy.” (pause) Well, that must be awful. (pause) I see, well, send her my best. (pause) Thank you, bye now. (to entire office) Cancer just saved my ass! Who wants to go for drinks?
Chinatown
Manhattan, New York
Good looking male computer geek: Her nick is “slutpants.” That sounds… promising.
African American geek: Girl, don't even act like you don't have a pair of slut pants.
Ginger geek: I'm so slutty I don't wear pants!
African American geek: You're gonna get gonorrhea.
Ginger geek: I'd rather get syph. It's the romantic STD.
Good looking male computer geek: Well, too bad you're going to get gonorrhea!
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Man leaving pay station to woman next in line: Have a nice day!
Woman next in line: Well, I have cancer, so I don't know how nice it will be.
Man leaving pay station: Well, you don't want any more of that!
Houston, Texas
Male coworker #1: Supposed to get up to fifty this weekend!
Male coworker #2: Yup.
Male coworker #1: Folks are gonna looooove that.
Male coworker #2: Yep. Especially the doctors.
Male coworker #1: What?
Male coworker #2: Yeah, cuz you know when it gets warm everyone takes off their coats and then gets a cold and they have to go to the doctor, and he gets to poke them in the butt.
Crane, Indiana
Overheard by: Dr. J
Female coworker: The school just called, my first grader is in the nurse's office.
Male coworker: What's wrong?
Female coworker: She partied too hard this weekend.
Collegeville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lola
Slutty girl: Ugh, I feel all queasy today. Like even the smell of water makes me want to puke.
Girl #1: Last time I felt like that I was pregnant.
Slutty girl: Don't say that!
Girl #2: When was the last time you got some?
Slutty girl: Like two weeks ago. Oh, but never mind, Dave's* dick was so small there's no way I'm pregnant.
Texas
PMSing office worker: I'm in such a bad mood. I'm bloated and eating everything in sight. It's like, “just bleed, dammit!”
Sympathetic coworker #1: I started this morning, so you should be okay soon.
Sympathetic coworker #2: I started yesterday.
Only male in the office: Fuck me.
Norman, Oklahoma
Fellow cube dweller on cell to friend: He gets all clingy every time I have a miscarriage.
Henderson, Nevada
Overheard by: Sal Sagev
