Health & Hygiene

Weirdest. Venus Razor Commercial. Ever.

Lady #1: I just had to explain to a 21-year-old what it's like to go to the gyno for the first time. I explained getting pried apart, the ovary exam and the breast exam.
Lady #2: What about the anal exam?
Ladies #1 and #3: (blank stare) What are you talking about?
Lady #2: Don't you get an anal exam at your gyno?
Ladies #1 and #3: No!
Lady #1: You were violated!
Lady #3: This is why I have a female gynecologist.
Lady #2: Well, that would explain why he complimented me on my shave, too.

Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Rizzy

And Sometimes I Even Walk Right in the Middle Of the Street!

Patient, filling out medical history form: It says here to list street drugs being used. (pause) Is insulin a street drug? I have been diabetic since I was a kid.

Warren, Michigan

Probably a “Wrong Cavity” Joke on the Way

Regular office guy: Anyone want to go get coffee?
Hot office girl: No, I have a dentist appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.
Regular office guy: Well, that sucks.
Hot office girl: No, my mouth sucks! (pause) Wait…

Bellevue, Washington

I Think I've Seen This Horror Flick…

Radiologist, dictating: The patient is an 80-year-old woman with a history of constipation. The films of the patient's abdomen are non-diagnostic, because there is a child in the way. Repeat films should be obtained to determine if the child is actually in the patient's abdomen or lying on the image plate behind her.

Lakeville, Massachusetts

…Was That a Bad Answer at the Pageant?

Lady browsing thrift store racks to friend: That's why I need to win the lottery, to get a butt makeover. I don't even need the whole body, just the butt.

Fayettteville, North Carolina

Wanna Feel??

Office lady #1: How do you feel?
Office lady #2: I've had this hard spot right here and then I have this really hard spot over here.
Office lady #1: No?
Office lady #2: And the really hard spot is moving towards my crotch!
Office lady #1: That sucks.

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: DeeDee

It Was a Career-Limiting Movement for Harlow

Digestively-challenged coworker: I'm in the bathroom a long time because I'm constipated. Takes some time to work it out. If they don't believe me, I'd be happy to let someone come in after me and see that it's a sinker, not a floater.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Grossly Amused

What Sounds Like English, but Isn't, Alex?

Reporter to reporter: Well, I'm not going to pull if I've got a bung eye.

New Zealand

But Doesn't Drinking Bring Families Together?

Intern #1: You know, the ABC Family really is a new kind of family.
Intern #2: What do you mean?
Intern #1: Well it's promoting underage drinking and teen pregnancy. Yay, family!

Richmond, Virginia

When Your Job Blows, You Find Humor Wherever You Can

Coworker #1 to husband who dropped off lunch: What is on your shirt?
Husband: I spilled Coke.
Coworker #1: Do you want me to suck it?

St. George, Utah

Overheard by: Charlie

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