Regular office guy: Anyone want to go get coffee?
Hot office girl: No, I have a dentist appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.
Regular office guy: Well, that sucks.
Hot office girl: No, my mouth sucks! (pause) Wait…
Bellevue, Washington
Regular office guy: Anyone want to go get coffee?
Hot office girl: No, I have a dentist appointment I have to leave for in a few minutes.
Regular office guy: Well, that sucks.
Hot office girl: No, my mouth sucks! (pause) Wait…
Bellevue, Washington
Radiologist, dictating: The patient is an 80-year-old woman with a history of constipation. The films of the patient's abdomen are non-diagnostic, because there is a child in the way. Repeat films should be obtained to determine if the child is actually in the patient's abdomen or lying on the image plate behind her.
Lakeville, Massachusetts
Lady browsing thrift store racks to friend: That's why I need to win the lottery, to get a butt makeover. I don't even need the whole body, just the butt.
Fayettteville, North Carolina
Office lady #1: How do you feel?
Office lady #2: I've had this hard spot right here and then I have this really hard spot over here.
Office lady #1: No?
Office lady #2: And the really hard spot is moving towards my crotch!
Office lady #1: That sucks.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: DeeDee
Digestively-challenged coworker: I'm in the bathroom a long time because I'm constipated. Takes some time to work it out. If they don't believe me, I'd be happy to let someone come in after me and see that it's a sinker, not a floater.
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Grossly Amused
Reporter to reporter: Well, I'm not going to pull if I've got a bung eye.
New Zealand
Intern #1: You know, the ABC Family really is a new kind of family.
Intern #2: What do you mean?
Intern #1: Well it's promoting underage drinking and teen pregnancy. Yay, family!
Richmond, Virginia
Coworker #1 to husband who dropped off lunch: What is on your shirt?
Husband: I spilled Coke.
Coworker #1: Do you want me to suck it?
St. George, Utah
Overheard by: Charlie
Account manager, loudly into phone: You should have just been faxed the revised drug screen form you need to take to the clinic, but it's not coming from me. It's coming directly from Christ.
Financial District
Manhattan, New York
Professor: How are you today?
PhD student: I'm not dead.
College Park, Maryland
