Boss: Hey, maybe we should launch this as an app.
Developer #1 to #2: What is he talking about?
Developer #2: I dunno, that guy's a fool!
Boss to developer #2: I will step on your throat!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: David
Boss: Hey, maybe we should launch this as an app.
Developer #1 to #2: What is he talking about?
Developer #2: I dunno, that guy's a fool!
Boss to developer #2: I will step on your throat!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: David
Male peon muttering to self: Hey, brain — work! Please work? At least for the next two hours!
Female peon: Are you talking to your brain?
Male peon: Yeah, I’m trying to get it to work.
Female peon: Oh.
8133 Leesburg Pike
Vienna, Virginia
Potential new hire: Hi, I'm Julie.
Existing employee Nice to meet you. Congratulations.
Potential new hire: Thanks. I hope it works out.
Existing employee: Okay then. Get well soon.
Charlestown, Massachusetts
Office gal: No, that goes in vertically.
Office guy: Vertically? Where? Here?
Office gal: No, in the little hole.
Office guy: What? No way!
Office gal: Yeah, you gotta fanagle it a little bit to get the gap to open up, so you can stick it in there.
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: That's what she said?…
Boss on speaker phone: So I need you to give me those files, like, in five minutes.
Employee: Um.
Boss: I’m serious. I want them in my hand in five minutes.
Employee: You know that I work at home, right?
Boss: So?
Employee: So I live forty-five minutes away from your so-called “office”…Speaking of which, did you ever get that toilet out of the hallway?
3207 Hayloft Court
Frederick, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
Graphic designer to PR guy : But I know what you mean, all black people do look the same.
Rochester, New York
Befuddled coworker to supervisor: The good news is I developed a system so that I wouldn't lose any more SIM cards. The bad news is I lost one.
Independence Parkway
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Jet Jaguar
Executive: You know it’s been a productive day when you smell as bad as I do right now.
6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Coworker #1, looking at whitewater rafting photos that coworker #2 is in: Those are really good pictures, did you take them?
Coworker #2: Uh, no, I'm in the raft, so that would be kinda difficult.
Beverly Hills, California
CSR on phone: Help desk, this is James*.
[pause]
CSR: I am sorry, this is the PC and phone help desk. Sounds like you need the facilities help desk if a toilet is stopped up.
[pause]
CSR: Okay sir, I understand, but you need facilites, not the help desk.
[long pause]
CSR: Okay, is it a Windows toilet or a Unix toilet?
Customer, now on speakerphone: Well, there are no windows in this bathroom, so I guess it must be a Unix toilet.
CSR: Okay, I will get a Unix toilet specialist there as soon as we can. Which building and bathroom is it?
[pause]
CSR: Thanks.
[CSR hangs up]
CSR back on phone: Hello, facilities? This is James at the PC help desk. Yeah, I have a doozy for you…try not to laugh…
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
