Attorney on phone: She's a full-time mommy and a full time lawyer. I don't know how she does it.
Eavesdropping legal assistant, muttering: That means she's only part-time…
Austin, Texas
Attorney on phone: She's a full-time mommy and a full time lawyer. I don't know how she does it.
Eavesdropping legal assistant, muttering: That means she's only part-time…
Austin, Texas
Guy to waitress: So, this cookie plate. What is it, a plate of cookies?
Chicago,Illinois
Dave, standing with four females and some candy gift baskets: Hey, Tom.
Tom: Hey, Dave, you should dig in to those treats over there… And no, I don't mean the ladies!
Jersey City, New Jersey
Secretary: She asked me to file these but I'm not quite sure how she wants them.
Lazy old receptionist: Just do it wrong and she'll quit asking you to do stuff. That's what I do.
Crown Point, Indiana
Overheard by: the one that usually asks
White office girl #1, about racist Miley Cyrus picture: So, yeah, I actually found that photo way more offensive than the topless one in Vogue.
White office girl #2: But it wasn't racist. It was just a joke about how funny they look.
White office girl #1: Yeah, I see your point.
Adelaide Central Market
Australia
New worker: So about the health benefit… will my son gets it?
HR: Of course.
New worker: What about my ex-wife? Because for sure I don't want that fucker to get anything.
Menlo Park, California
Suit on phone: Hey, is the Frenchman there? Is the vet there? Who's there?
Times Square
Manhattan, New York
Working bee: But I'm cute and friendly and everyone should just love me! Damn it!
University of Illinois
Woman in line: I want to go somewhere foreign this summer. How about Guam?
Cashier: Actually, Guam is part of the United States.
Woman in line: Ugh, these things change so often. We must have gotten it, like, a year ago, right?
Cashier: Actually, we've owned Guam since the 1800s. It sends a non-voting member to Congress, but they have no elector, so they don't matter for presidential elections.
Woman in line: Oh, thank god.
Rite Aid
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
