Working bee: But I'm cute and friendly and everyone should just love me! Damn it!
University of Illinois
Working bee: But I'm cute and friendly and everyone should just love me! Damn it!
University of Illinois
Woman in line: I want to go somewhere foreign this summer. How about Guam?
Cashier: Actually, Guam is part of the United States.
Woman in line: Ugh, these things change so often. We must have gotten it, like, a year ago, right?
Cashier: Actually, we've owned Guam since the 1800s. It sends a non-voting member to Congress, but they have no elector, so they don't matter for presidential elections.
Woman in line: Oh, thank god.
Rite Aid
Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Boss: It's about time! You're finally back, you know Kristen isn't here.
Employee wearing a heart monitor: Yeah, I know she's out sick.
Boss: Do you know how she's feeling? Will she be back tomorrow?
Employee wearing a heart monitor: No, but my doctor said I'm having heart problems.
Boss: Well, you look fine and you're here, so that's not a big deal.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Little old Indian professor, struggling to set up lecture on Excel: I am feeling retarded. This is why I don't use those iPods and stuff…I am afraid.
Tufts University
Medford/Somerville, Massachusetts
Overheard by: microsoft excel is pretty evil
Elderly lady, waving cane: Since that new President got elected, I have seen more and more black people at the grocery store.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Nurse: Okay, so, she's dyin'?
Doctor: I guess.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: Yeah, we just got some lame intern for the department, just because he is friends with the president's daughter.
Coworker #2: Huh? He really is? Isn't she like 13?
Coworker #1: Not Obama, you stoner! The president of the company.
Stonybrook University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Kevin
Woman to coworker: Did I tell you? My New Year's resolution is to always remember to wash my hands before I leave the bathroom.
Princeton, New Jersey
Office guy: I spent a year of my life having chocolate milk and a Butterfinger Bar for breakfast.
Office girl: Oh my god! I hate boys! Girls could never do that!
Office guy: That's because women have babies.
Boston, Massachusetts
Admin on phone with engineer: Hello, it's me. (pause) At the desk. (pause) I know, what are you wearing? (pause) Haha…okay, we need to end this conversation, because I do not need to go to a seminar.
Boston, Massachusetts
