Secretary to another: I wish there were a way to tell Word “don't print.” Like CTRL DP. (pause) Maybe that wouldn't be so good.
Berkeley, California
Secretary to another: I wish there were a way to tell Word “don't print.” Like CTRL DP. (pause) Maybe that wouldn't be so good.
Berkeley, California
IT guy #1: Why are they in this order?
IT guy #2: It's alphabetical.
IT guy #1: No, it's not.
IT guy #2: How do you figure?
IT guy #1: S before q.
IT guy #2: Come again?
IT guy #1: You know… S, t, q, v, w, x, y, z. (pause) Wait a minute…
Niles, Illinois
Overheard by: Mosh
Customer: Have a nice Passover.
Coworker #1: What's “Passover” mean?
Coworker #2: It means she's Jewish.
Coworker #1: Oh. It sounded like something naughty.
Troy, Michigan
Customer: I would like to buy this box of condoms, but I want to know if I can return them if they don't work.
Cashier: What do you mean “if they don't work?”
Customer: You know! If I get pregnant!
Brooklyn, New York
Overheard by: OhMyGodBecky
Woman to group of friends: I just can't get over how my son and daughter have the same initials.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Count Chocula
Patron: I'm looking for a book. Could you help me?
Clerk: Can you tell me the title?
Patron: No.
Clerk: How about the author ?
Patron: Uh, no, I don't don't know the author or the title but it has something to do with (pause) uhh…
Clerk: You need to go to the reference desk so that they can look it up for you.
Lima, Ohio
Coworker #1: Well, I climbed over the fence and knew that it hurt for some reason, but I didn't realize it was an electric fence until I climbed back over a second time.
Coworker #2: So you're pretty much telling us that cows have more sense than you?
Nashville, Tennessee
Girl to another: No, Pennsylvania is one state and Philadelphia is another!
Boynton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Napalm Seth
Office drone to coworker explaining technical process: The only value I bring to this conversation is my ignorance.
Manhattan, New York
Guy in charge of van duty: You're going to be the next… (next words muffled by van engines)
Girl assisting van duty: Did you just tell me I'm going to be in epic porn?
Guy: What? No! I said “admin coord.” You're not going to go to HR, are you?
Girl: No, I'm actually a little flattered.
Marginal Way
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: porn star
