Office peon: Not that I believe Jesus was Jewish or anything.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Office peon: Not that I believe Jesus was Jewish or anything.
Silver Spring, Maryland
Project manager, looking at chart of Harvey Balls: You have to play with your balls.
Hotel Room
Bethesda, Maryland
Social worker: Crap! I spelled “I am” wrong!
Chicago, Illinois
HR woman at benefits meeting: If you fill out this online survey you will receive a $50 gift card.
Woman employee: So what's the gift card good for?
HR woman: It's good for… Dicks…
(another woman employee starts laughing out loud)
HR woman: I meant “Dick's Sporting Goods.”
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Guy in the crowd
Paralegal: Good afternoon, [Law Firm name]. How may I help you?
Partner: Wow…Wow. You’ve got, like, a 1-900 phone voice. We’re gonna have to take you off the receptionist rotation. Don’t want to give our criminal clients the wrong impression.
600 East Broad Street
Richmond, Virginia
Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.
Receiver: Do you know where the phrase “Don't shoot the messenger” came from?
Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.
Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
Middle-aged female employee: Where's the protein in that young lady?
Middle-aged manager, excited: There's lots of protein. Lots and lots!
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Employee #1: Your haircut is just so cute, I meant to tell you! It looks just like–what was Spock on Star Trek? A Vulcan? It makes you look just like a Vulcan!
Employee #2: Um, thank you…
Employee #1: I hope you don't take that the wrong way!
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman in bathroom stall, quietly to herself: My crotch smells like bacon!
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
50-something lady on the phone: Do you want a sexual relationship or not? I thought that's what you wanted. (pause) I thought that's what you wanted! (pause) Yes, Victor, I've been taking my medicine. I've been taking my medicine on the same schedule every day!
Evansville, Indiana
