But Why Is There Food Cooking Inside?

Blonde peonette #1: Is this the fax machine?
Blonde peonette #2: It *sounds* like it is.

Beale Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: wicked

Posted on May 27, 2008
California, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Questions, Sensory Experiences

The Riddle Of the Sphincter Redux

Cube mate on phone: Hey! What’s up butt-lord?
[silence] No kidding! You’re such an American asshole. Later!

3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: radioman

Posted on May 26, 2008
Cubicles, Default, Employees, Insults, On the phone, Washington, Weirdness, Words

He’s on His Cigarette Break

Patient: Help! Help me! Someone!
Patient’s tech, upon entering room: Sir! Sir, what are you yelling for?
Patient: Sanity!

Bowling Green, Kentucky

Posted on May 26, 2008
Default, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Kentucky, Offers and requests, Patients, Questions, Weirdness

I Thought That Chick Seemed a Little Young

Male cube dweller: Isn’t that the church where they had the wet t-shirt contest?
Female cube dweller: That was a baptism!
Male cube dweller: Oh…

McLean, Virginia

Posted on May 22, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, General Idiocy, Religion, Sexuality, Virginia

Why Your Personal Life Should Remain a Mystery

Cashier #1, trying to unlock a drawer at the front desk: I… Can’t… Get… The key… To work.
Cashier #2, who recently found out he got his booty-call pregnant: You have to jiggle it, and then pull it out.
Cashier #1, laughing: Cause that has worked so well for you in the past.

Grocery Store
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Loves It!!

Posted on May 21, 2008
Advice, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees, New York, Retail

All Their Office Furniture Was Donated By Puritans

Assistant: My ass has taken enough punishment for one day.

Newcastle
Australia

Overheard by: At the next desk

Posted on May 20, 2008
Australia, Body Parts, Default, Employees, Gripes, Sensory Experiences, Violence

I’m Pretty Sure Death Snatched It

Female workbee #1: *Dan takes this rubber cockroach and tosses it over into *Linda’s cubicle. She just freaks and goes running out of the building screaming at the top of her lungs.
Female workbee #2: Do you know if anyone ate her donut?

City Offices
Houston, Texas

Posted on May 20, 2008
Animals, Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, Questions, Texas

From Your Gynecologist?

Male federal employee: I loved those old Startac phones because all they were was a phone. They didn’t take pictures. They didn’t predict your ovulation cycle. They just took calls!

Independence Avenue
Washington, DC