Elderly office assistant to youthful graphic designer: I have to tell you about cabbage, and how nutritious cabbage is…
Water Street
New York City, New York
Elderly office assistant to youthful graphic designer: I have to tell you about cabbage, and how nutritious cabbage is…
Water Street
New York City, New York
IT guy with thick Middle Eastern accent: No Phil*, they are Canadian, they don’t know what they are talking about anyway.
Sprint Headquarters
Overland Park, Kansas
IT dork: It’s like Christmas when you get to open a new server!
Berkeley Street
Boston, Massachusetts
IT guy to IT manager: Nice shoes, are they new?
IT manager: Yeah, but they’re too clean and white. They need to be scuffed up more.
IT guy: You know what they should do? They should make the seven-year old Taiwanese kids who sew these wear them for a few days first.
IT manager: Yeah, that’s perfect. Pre-scuffed shoes. They’d be flopping around in shoes way too big, but at least they’d have shoes for a few days.
Good Hope Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Office vet #1: Lisa* was showing me how to use chopsticks at lunch today, you know, cause she’s Asian.
Office vet #2: Lisa*?
Office vet #1: You know, the girl we work with in third party…I don’t know what kind of Asian she is, apparently there’s different kinds, you know…
St. Paul Plaza
Baltimore, Maryland
Manager: I’ll never get promoted. I’m misunderestimated.
[manager leaves]HR Clerk: If “misunderestimated” is defined as crapping your pants at work, then he is misunderestimated.
Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Senior VP, flipping through Rolodex: I am just removing the ones that are dead.
Employee: [silent look of horror]Senior VP: Oh, there are only three!
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Lisa
President: In the process of moving our data center across the Atlantic, we have eliminated the Director of Operations position. We will not be refilling it.
Ops member: Are we downsizing?
President: Well, we are down one.
Spear Street
San Francisco, California
Manager, giving “Take your kid to work day” tour: Do you know who works in this department?
Kid on tour: Old people!
Oak Tree Boulevard
Cleveland, Ohio
