Rite Aid employee #1: My friend died last year, he was really sick, it was sad.
Rite Aid employee #2: Yeah man, my friend from high school recently passed away too.
Rite Aid employee #3 (in a Dominican accent): Yeah, that happened to my friend too. Actually, he did not die. Someone killed him.
Rite Aid
New York, New York
Overheard by: Marie Ziskin
HR head: So, when's the, uh…I guess, “drop-dead date” for your baby?
Hugely pregnant admin: Uh…what? You mean the latest date before my doctor induces?
HR head: Yeah. The drop-dead date.
Hugely pregnant admin: Wow.
Phoenix, Arizona
Middle manager: I'm not going to eat until all of these problems are solved.
Office temp: Wow, you're gonna die.
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Peon, during office Easter egg hunt: Kim* was running down the hallway, wearing a non-supportive bra. Now I don't want to hunt for Easter eggs anymore, I just want to die…
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: Wearing supportive undergarments
Lady worker answering phone: Hi Alex*! … I knew it was you because this is a 321* area code, and you work in Boston and it wasn’t your home number… And if it wasn’t you, then I was prepared for your boss to be calling me telling me you fell off a stool, hit your head, and wound up dead on the floor.
Indiana
Worker #1: Did I miss much on Friday when I took the sick day?
Worker #2: Nah man, all cool, apart from the usual. You know, me wanting to take my own life and everything…
Adelaide
Australia
Boss on phone: Do you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see himself on the cross? It's like going up to Jackie O with a rifle on a chain and saying, “I'm remembering JFK!”
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Ren
Copywriter: How about ‘Widget* is your final solution for packaging needs’?
Copyeditor: I think we should use any other description.
Copywriter: Why? Does it not make sense?
Copyeditor: Only if you’re not talking about the Holocaust.
4th and Congress
Austin, Texas
Lawyer: Have you been involved in any bike accidents?
Potential juror: I was hit by a car while riding my bike in the Hamptons. I was seriously injured, but I didn’t die.
60 Centre Street
New York, NY
Boss to employee: Can you google dead people?
Erie, Pennsylvania
