Laywer: So you were locked in a room that had a gas leak?
Client: Yeah. Man, we was trying to get out quick as we could. I mean, if we didn’t make it out when we did, we could’ve been sophisticated!
Lawyer: Asphyxiated?
Client: Whatever.
Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Manager: So, my wife had to give me an enema this weekend. I thought I was going to die.
New girl: Are you serious?
Manager: Yes. I am always serious.
Christina Street
Sarnia, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Leoness
Tech support assisting with Excel: Whoa! No, no, no, no! I said I was going to adjust your columns, not kill you!
Trilegiant office
Trumbull, Connecticut
Overheard by: Redfox Alpha
Boss: Do you smell something burning?
Everyone: No. Is something burning?
Lab manager: Oh! I smell it! Guys, do you smell something burning?
Everyone: Nope.
Lab manager: Oh, well. There might be a fire. Maybe we'll all die… Whatever.
UCSD Pathology Lab
San Diego, California
Overheard by: kittymisfit
Employee: Would it be better to buy life insurance while I’m still alive?
4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Lisa Marshall
Coworker: Hey, Sarah, how's your grammar?
Sarah: My grandma? She died two years ago. Why?
Newcastle
England
Front desk agent #1, entering bathroom: What are you girls doing? We have a line of guests!
Front desk agent #2: I'm trying to poop and can't concentrate because of her poop problem.
Front desk agent #3: I'm not responsible if she dies, I warned her from the beginning.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: LasVegas
Male coworker: I can't find that file he was talking about anywhere.
Female coworker: I swear, if I have to keep listening to your screeching voice anymore, I'm going to start killing babies.
Los Angeles, California
