Boss: So, is your dog dead yet?
Worker: No! Why would you even say that!
Boss: I mean, don't get me wrong… I didn't think you would kill it… I just thought you would neglect it till it died.
Knoxville, Tennessee
Nurse #1: It’s more important that we get rid of the dead things in the clinic.
Nurse #2: The smell’s still there?
Nurse #3: Have you tried spraying the air with something?
1230 York Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Molly the Mole
Coworker #1: I was berated by Susan* yesterday because I asked for my light fixture to be fixed… again… after 13 days. She got angry because she ‘has more important things to worry about.’ Apparently, her husband’s in the ICU.
Coworker #2: Dude, she’s going to have to unplug him.
Coworker #1: I understand that, but I resent the accusation that somehow my asking for my light to be fixed betrays an insensitivity to the plight of her almost-dead husband.
Austin, Texas
Accountant: The boss is charging all his personal expenses to the firm. We'll have to use a little creative camouflaging to make them look like office expenses.
Trainee: How do we show his father's funeral coffin?
Accountant: Packaging & forwarding?
Garden Square
Panjim
India
Overheard by: Paige Turner
Customer: I have seven sisters.
Pharmacist: Seven?
Customer: But I only have one left, they're dropping like flies. I'm getting tired of wearing black.
Charleston, West Virginia
Female office worker: There's a mouse in the trap under my desk! Come move it!
Male office work: Is he dead?
(supervisor walks in with on tail end of conversation)
Supervisor: All deceased records go to George.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ear Hustler
Messenger: Hey, I'm just the messenger.
Receiver: Do you know where the phrase “Don't shoot the messenger” came from?
Messenger: Cause they use to shoot the messenger.
Receiver: You know why they still have that saying? Cause we still shoot the messenger.
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Receptionist: it's too hot. i think i might die.
Boss: You will not die. People have survived thousand of years without air conditioner.
Receptionist: And where are all those people now? Dead! That's where.
Los Angeles, California
