Barista: Would you like this brownie heated up?
Brownie man: I like my brownies like I like my women.
Barista: Dark and covered in chocolate?
Coffee shop
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: agrees with him
Barista: Would you like this brownie heated up?
Brownie man: I like my brownies like I like my women.
Barista: Dark and covered in chocolate?
Coffee shop
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: agrees with him
Restaurant customer waving to waitress: Check, check!
Waitress: No, ma'am, we don't take checks!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: t bean
Salesperson, in response to reading a news article: Why would anyone name their pet Booger, then have him cloned?
Customer: I wish aliens would come down and take Paris Hilton away.
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: bearer of randomness
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Customer: I have not ordered this product.
Service person: But we have a contract that you have signed.
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: I’m sorry?
Customer: How do you think it feels if I rape you in your ass every month?
Service person: Would you do it like a gentleman?
Potsdam, Germany
Barista: What can I get you, sir?
Customer: I'll have a grande toffee…
Barista: I'm sorry, sir, we do not have any toffee items in the shop any more.
Customer: Then I'll just have a large broken dream.
Starbucks
Manhattan, New York
Customer: Why hasn't my money been deposited into my account today?
CSR: Well sir, it's Martin Luther King Day, so the banks are closed.
Customer: Oh, yeah! I forgot about that, homie!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: dropping some eaves
Angry customer, ending long rant: Why do I have to sign a form? Why can't I close it over the phone? I didn't have to sign a form to open the account.
CSR: Yes, you did.
(pause)
Angry customer: Will you e-mail it to me?
Boston, Massachusetts
Lady, waiting in line at fast food place: What are your milkshakes made out of?
Cute girl serving: Ah, milk.
Lady: Oh. I'm allergic to milk, can I get it without the milk?
Cute girl: It's a milkshake, and we're a burger joint, we don't have the technology to separate milk from milk.
Lady: Oh, I see. But can I get it without milk?
Cute girl: Sure. Is juice okay, then?
North Lethbridge
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Allestra
Cube-dweller (on phone): Thank you for calling , Andy speaking.
Customer: Can I speak to Charles, please?
Cube-dweller: Speaking.
Customer: Oh, I thought you said you were Andy?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: So…you're Andy and Charles?
Cube-dweller: Yes.
Customer: Okay… Well, I'm returning your call.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Andy. I mean, Charles.
