Old black lady: Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
Young black woman: Huh?
Old black lady: You know what ‘K-I-S-S’ stand for?
Young black woman: What?
Old black woman: ‘Knights in Satan’s Service.’ That’s right, ‘Knights in Satan’s Service! Why you call your brother ‘KISS‘?!
2201 South 10th Street
Ft. Pierce, Florida
Overheard by: Just here to get dialated
Male peon: You feeling better today, Jim*?
Jim: Yes.
Male peon: Well, you look a lot better. We were worried about you yesterday. You were turning white.
Jim: Yeah, that’s not a good sign when you’re a black man.
Newport News, Virginia
Coworker #1: So, a magnetic train crashed in Germany, killing twenty-three.
Coworker #2: … Stupid Krauts.
70th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Nerdy worker: Well, unfortunately she had rubbed her butt across the floor. Man, it smelled so bad.
Coworker: Oh my god!
Nerdy worker: Yeah, we used some Febreze on it, so it was a little better yesterday.
Highway 280
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Glad I don’t work for Stanley Steamer
Marketing peon #1: The best tapas I ever had were in Sacramento.
Marketing peon #2: Oh… Uh, you mean, like, the city of?
400 Technology Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: valender
Younger peon: Remember those Richard Scarry books with the animals all dressed up in–
Older peon: I haven’t read kids’ books since the second grade. Seriously.
Younger peon: What, your kids never read children’s books? What kind of parent are you?!
150 Federal Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Worker bee #1: So, what do you think of my new car?
Worker bee #2: I think it looks like an un-circumcised dick.
Worker bee #1: Are you saying it’s a cock wagon?
Worker bee #2: Dude, you couldn’t pick up bitches in that.
Corvallis, Oregon
Overheard by: bystander
Suit #1: That toilet has been clogged for two days now. Didn’t somebody call Property Management to fix it?
Suit #2: Yeah, they were called. Here comes Pete* from Property Management now. Check out the rubber gloves up to his elbows.
Suit #1: Hey, Pete, how’s it going?
Pete: Okay, I guess. Same shit, different day.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Loudmouth designer: I am a designer. What are you?
Newbie: I am Hans.
Mitte, Berlin
Germany
Overheard by: smiling writer
Office mate: What were you doing in my crotch?!
Office, 42nd Street
New York, New York
