Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not from…those places
Coworker #1: That’s why people leave places like Iowa and Ohio.
Coworker #2: Uh, why?
Coworker #1: Because they want to act out their tendencies toward promiscuity!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Not from…those places
Worker #1: I’m feeling a little premenstrual.
Worker #2: Jesus, didn’t you just have your period?
Worker #1: Right! I had yours and mine!
365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Girl looking out window at rain: I picked a bad day to go straight.
Clarksville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Girl 3
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Coworker #1: How do you spell ‘Awww’? [Sounds it out] Awwwwwww… O-W?
Coworker #2: A-H.
Coworker #3: No, A-W-W-W.
Coworker #1: A-W-A-W?
Coworker #2: I think it’s A-H.
Coworker #3: No. A-W-W-W.
Atlanta, Georgia
Coworker #1, returning from vacation: Has something changed in your psyche since I was here last?
Coworker #2: No, I’ve just been chewing gum recently.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Coworker on phone: Yeah. Unemployed is just un-fun. So, I’m happy with what I got. Even if it rapes me.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Lady worker bee: C’mon, you know you were skanky before you got married.
Male worker bee: No, I wasn’t. I may have been a slut, but not a skank.
Lady worker bee: What’s the difference?
Male worker bee: A skank is a slut that doesn’t bathe.
4768 Church Road
Platteville, Wisconsin
Grunt #1: So, what about the cigarette tax?
Grunt #2: I put ‘Yes.’
Grunt #1: Wait, you voted for that? Why? It’s like a 300 percent increase!
Grunt #2: Because I’m a social Darwinist! If people are gonna die, I want them to at least give money to the government first.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: I think I’m in love
