Employee: Can I Borrow a dime?
Boss's Sister: Hold on, I need to remember if that's 5 or 10 cents.
Monaca, Pennsylvania
Employee: Can I Borrow a dime?
Boss's Sister: Hold on, I need to remember if that's 5 or 10 cents.
Monaca, Pennsylvania
Attorney: Why did you bill all of these overtime hours?
Paralegal: Because you're a faggot!
Manhattan, New York
Sporty employee: I have a swim meet and I'm not ready for it.
Wiseguy employee: Why don't you swim home?
Sporty employee: I would never swim in this water.
Wiseguy employee: That's not the talk of a champion!
Manhattan, New York
Manager to gay employee: If you were a man, you'd understand.
Gay employee: Uhhhh… (head tilt)
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: silent bystander, slowly backing away
Painter #1: I can't find that roller anywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check…
Painter #1, interrupting: I've looked everywhere.
Painter #2: Did you check your butt?
Painter #1: Did you check your mom's butt?
Painter #2: Did you check your mom's face?
Boss painter: Dammit guys, get back to work!
Atlanta, Georgia
Programmer #1: Never trust a fuckin' midget.
Programmer #2: Oh, yeah? Well, never trust a fuckin' fag who's sworn off fuckin'.
Memphis, Tennessee
Man leaving pay station to woman next in line: Have a nice day!
Woman next in line: Well, I have cancer, so I don't know how nice it will be.
Man leaving pay station: Well, you don't want any more of that!
Houston, Texas
HR director: You guys aren't what I expected. I expected something less professional. I didn't expect suits.
Sales guy: Well, we expected you to be fat and ugly.
Hospital
Kansas City, Kansas
IT guy #1, absorbed in reading data printout: Hmmm… Aha! 12, 13, 14.
IT guy #2, passing by: Hey, you can count to 14! That's great!
IT guy #3: And he can do it without taking his shoes off!
Toronto
Canadia
Coworker to new employee: Love the Avril Lavigne poster, Susan*. I had no idea you were such a fan!
New employee: Never missed a concert in the Midwest! Avril really speaks to me. Her songs are so profound.
Arrogant man in cube across: Oh, come on Susan! As a 40-something woman with bad style and three kids, what could a 18-year-old possibly teach you that is so profound? If you started wearing heavy black eyeliner and fishnets, then maybe I would believe you.
Edina, Minnesota
