Former VP: I heard you were dreaming about me.
Executive Assistant: If the person gave you the impression that it was in a positive connotation, they were gravely mistaken.
1000 Voorhees Drive
Voorhees, New Jersey
Former VP: I heard you were dreaming about me.
Executive Assistant: If the person gave you the impression that it was in a positive connotation, they were gravely mistaken.
1000 Voorhees Drive
Voorhees, New Jersey
VP: It’s not working. I can’t get it up. I can’t get it up.
CEO: They make a pill for that now, you know.
28 Crescent Street
Middletown, Connecticut
Customer: Well, maybe I could find something at a lower price that needs fixed up. I do a lot of remodeling work.
Real-estate agent: Sir, if you’re a carpenter you won’t be able to afford anything in this area.
Customer: I’m a contractor and I have more money than I know what to do with. If I say I’m going to climb into your ass and renovate, that’s what I’m going to do.
109 Lafayette Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Dirtpatch
Reporter: We can’t give Gary an award.
Copy editor: Why not? You know, if it’s the best story and he was here during that month…
Reporter: What, we’re going to give him a posthumous award?
Copy editor: You know, Gary’s not dead.
Reporter: He is to me!
189 W. Main Street
Spartanburg, South Carolina
Overheard by: W. Texas Mike
Manager: It’s just that I don’t want any of those old, white computers. The only good ones are black nowadays.
Engineer: That sounds pretty racist…
Manager: Well, I don’t care.
41000 Vincenti Court
Novi, Michigan
Overheard by: Stefan Bankowski
Supervisor #1: I am here to give you a hard time.
Supervisor #2: Take a number.
2 Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
IT guy: Do you have a license to install Photoshop?
Employee: You need a license?
IT guy: Yeah.
Employee: It’s not that hard to install, you just double click on the icon.
IT guy: You don’t understand.
Employee: Yeah I do, I’m just fucking with you. Jokes are funny.
2 W. 2nd Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Desk agent to male valet: Where's your little reusable thing?
Alarmed valet: Pardon?
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Michelle
Boss: I stuck this in your box.
Employee: You just stay out of my box!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: BWC
