10-year-old boy to 10-year-old friend: It's happening again.
10-year-old friend: What? You mean, “it?”
10-year-old boy: Yeah, darn it, I can't help it.
10-year-old friend: I think you should tell your mom about it.
10-year-old boy: No, she doesn't have a penis, she wont know what I'm talking about.
Sprint Store
Gilbert, Arizona
CEO receptionist: Oh, look! The IT fairy is here with a new PC!
IT guy, carrying computer: Um…?
CEO receptionist: Oh! I meant it like “tooth fairy,” not the…you know, gay kind.
IT guy: Where do you want me to stick it?
CEO receptionist You can put it in the back, the boss is busy right now.
Hospital
Wisconsin
Female coworker #1: I smell fish. Do you smell fish?
Female coworker #2: I do. How 'bout you start washing your vag more often than you wash your car?
Geneva General Hospital
Geneva, New York
Overheard by: Molly Guns
Customer: Can I get a pack of condoms?
Clerk: Yes, what kind would you like?
Customer: Um, whatever is smallest.
Union City, Georgia
Overheard by: Amanda
Designer: The ball is out of my court.
Creative director: Where's it at?
Designer: I don't know.
Elgin, Illinois
Young cutie receptionist: Oh, fun, we get to dress up in costumes.
HR clerk: What are you talking about?
Young cutie receptionist: Well, if Andy can be at work dressed as a pirate, I should be able to wear a my kitten costume.
HR clerk: Andy got a metal filing in his eye. He went to the doctor and his eye is bandaged. Andy is not dressed as a pirate!
Young cutie receptionist: Does that mean the only way I can get to wear my kitten costume is if a doctor puts it on me?
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Coworker #1: (moans uncomfortably)
Coworker #2: What's wrong with you?
Coworker #1: I ate too much…at lunch, my hamburger was so big I had to close my eyes just to fit it in my mouth.
Toronto
Canadia
Coworker, on voicemail: It started yesterday before I left work, but it just got worse and I spent all night on the toilet. Well, on and off the toilet, it was coming out of both ends if you know what I mean. Anyway, I'll spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say I'm going to be working from home today. I need to lie back and relieve some of this pressure in my abdomen.
Denver, Colorado
Crazy coworker: If my kid pooped in the closet, I'd rub his nose in it. “No! Bad!”
Sane female coworker: Your kids are going to be taken away by the state.
Sane male coworker: There's not even a question.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Playtah
Salon receptionist: How can I help you?
Girl: I would like to schedule an appointment for acrylic nails.
Salon receptionist: Okay, can I get your first and last name?
Girl: Sure, it's Lindsay… (long pause) …I forgot the second question.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Really…?!
