Oblivious mail worker bee: Hey, Bob*. You have a really large package!
Manager, trying not to laugh: Wow. Uh, I'm not going to touch that one.
Oblivious mail worker bee: I don't blame you! If you need some help carrying that, let me know.
Sandy, Utah
Angry coworker to mailroom employee: Why are you ignoring my package?
Glenview, Illinois
Horse veterinarian to assistant: Okay, I'm going to need him sedated. Sue, you scrub him, and…Heather, get on the penis.
Cleveland, Ohio
Male coworker #1: My hands are unusually soft and supple today.
Male coworker #2, putting on lotion: Now mine will be too! You got me in the mood!
Irvine, California
Overheard by: mikkele
Ghetto EKG tech: How is you gonna pay fo' yo' rent now that you got that big house?
Even more ghetto secretary: I'm gonna have to suck a lot of dick!
(passing-by physician gives an uncomfortable glance at them)
Ghetto secretary: Oh shit! I shouldn't have said that out loud!
Tampa, Florida
IT guy: Where do I need to put this?
Lady down the hall: If you can't get it in that one, just stick it in the back. It doesn't matter where you stick it. I'm easy.
Memphis, Tennessee
Blonde, ditzy coworker: Well, why would they send gloves? Babies are born without thumbs. Even I know that, and I don't have any children!
Westport, Connecticut
Remote office: DC, have you got it up yet?
DC office: We've got it up, now we're trying to make it bigger.
Washington, DC
Female bookseller: How long does it usually take to get your deposit back on an apartment?
Male bookseller: It could be two or three months, depending on how big of an asshole they want to be.
Female bookseller: Hm. (pause) Yeah, I prefer smaller assholes.
Bookstore
Des Moines, Iowa
Male coworker to female coworker: Hey, do you ever play golf?
Female coworker: No, I don't play with balls that small.
(male coworker chokes on drink)
Bellevue, Nebraska
