Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Receptionist to trainee: Oh, you asked about the dead rabbit in my car. It’s for Yolanda, her dad wanted it.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Stockbroker, matter-of-factly: I don’t care about the results of interspecies breeding, I just want to have entire populations of zoos inseminating our women. That is an end in itself.
Financial District
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: Yeah, the credit card rates were higher than the balls of a giraffe.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Social worker: So I gave the kid my copy of the DSM so he could diagnose his dog, and when he brought the book back he asked me for some porn. I thought the book was a good starting point so he could help his dog, but I don’t know about the porn. He is only 17.
260 South Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: lora
Coworker on phone: I get all my dogs cremated, so they can get buried with me when I die. Yes, I'm taking all mine with me when I go. Yeah, I have a whole cupboard full of dead dogs. My dad's in there, too.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Customer service clerk #1: Whew! It stinks in here. Did the bug exterminator guy spray for bugs in here today?
Customer service clerk #2: No, one of the sales reps just walked through. You are smelling salesman cologne.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Boss to underling: Ants so big they could stand flat-footed and fuck a turkey…
Dayton, Ohio
Peon #1: Of course, he described it as riding a tiger.
Peon #2: Who rides a tiger?
Richmond, Virginia
Frat boy to another who is wiping something off his shoe: At least you stepped in dog shit!
Walking into Bobby Bowden Stadium in Tallahassee for FSU/NC State football game.
Coworker: I forgot to bring a water bowl for [my dog], do you have anything?
Boss, cheerily: You can use my “15 years sober” bowl!
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
