Tech guy to intern: If you take that network diagram, cut and paste it into word, save it as an mp3 and play it back, it will be circus music.
Solana Beach, California
Tech guy to intern: If you take that network diagram, cut and paste it into word, save it as an mp3 and play it back, it will be circus music.
Solana Beach, California
Orientation presenter: In all the code fives I've responded to over the years, there's only been one that involved a weapon. But if you hear “code five lobby” announced overhead, and then you hear shots fired, don't go into the lobby!
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Naomi
Red-faced manager: Frozen again! God fucking dammit! Jesus fucking Christ! I'm getting really fucking pissed off at this motherfucking computer!
Nonchalant passerby: Kick it, then.
Plymouth, Michigan
50-year old guy #1: I don't want to be here.
50-year old guy #2, passing by: Just shit your pants. Nobody likes working with you if you have shitty pants.
Rocky River, Ohio
Young office worker: I need some Catholic classes or something. I get all confused about the Bible characters and Jesus.
Manager: Why not go to church? Or maybe when you go to college, they’ll have a Bible study. Lots of kids do that.
Young office worker: I need something before then. I need Jesus for Dummies so I can catch up!
365 West Passaic Street
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: the cubicle right outside
Peon #1: Don't put that paper in the bin, it won't get recycled. Put it in the confidential waste bin, the stuff in there does get recycled.
Peon #2: But it's not confidential waste.
Peon #1: Well, write a secret on it and then put it in, if that'll make you feel better.
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: PumpkinSpider
Air steward, during safety demonstration: We are expecting some turbulence during this flight. Please remain seated with your seat belt buckled. Remember, we have worker's compensation and you don't.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Kirstoona
Manager: We need to be less stupider on how we do…things…We need to work on our synergy, ensure we’re interlocking with our process improvements…You need to have a sense of urgency, a relaxed urgency where you don’t hurry anyone else but you.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Overheard by: Anonymous Tech
Coworker on phone: Just wear your own clothes.
Arlington, Virginia
Overheard by: DC Diva
Female on cell in hallway: HPV. HPV. No, not HIV, HPV. You know, the warts… Yeah, HPV. I don't know, freeze them off maybe?
O'Fallon, Missouri
