Middle Manager: He wanted to talk about organic augmentation.
Boss: Did you tell him yours was large enough to be one?
2076 South Street
Quantico, Virginia
Middle Manager: He wanted to talk about organic augmentation.
Boss: Did you tell him yours was large enough to be one?
2076 South Street
Quantico, Virginia
Supervisor: I’m sorry, you guys are going to have to keep this door to the hallway open.
Temp: But it’s so noisy out there.
Supervisor: I’m sorry, but we like to have an open door policy. If you want, you can come talk to me about it privately at any time.
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: a different temp
Volunteer #1: Man, Chipotle is so good, man!
Volunteer #2: Yeah, except it makes you have to go to the bathroom because of the hot sauce…
Volunteer #1: I's okay, man, you just take a Game Boy into the bathroom with you. Kills like a half hour.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Warehouse employee, furiously banging tools around: Happy place, go to your happy place.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
overheard by: I love this place!
Black employee #1: I been assin’ for a raise and assin’ for a raise, but I ain’t gettin’ any.
Black employee #2: See, that’s your problem — the way you talk. You don’t say assin’ for a raise, you say, ‘I been axin’ for a raise.’
Men’s room
Torrance, California
Coworker #1: You know what we should do? Pool our money together and buy a cat.
Coworker #2: Would anybody feed it? ‘Cause I don’t want no dead cat runnin’ around here.
Des Moines, Iowa
Overheard by: Gir
Boss, on phone: Throw up… Just throw up! (slams phone)
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
Cube guy #1: I’m gonna need your help today getting into the client.
Cube guy #2: Didn’t you do what I told you to do yesterday?
Cube guy #1: Oh, yeah. That worked — I got in from the back end, but I want to get in the front of the box.
Cube guy #2: Well, to get in the front end of the client you need to follow a very different procedure.
Cube guy #1: Right, that’s what I need. I’m hoping you could give me a little direction if you’ve ever done it that way.
Cube guy #2: Sure, that’s the way I usually go in.
Internet company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Worker bee on phone: Isn’t your husband anointed? Well, why don’t you just have him lay hands on you, then?
171 17th Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*’s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
