Boss, on phone: Throw up… Just throw up! (slams phone)
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
Boss, on phone: Throw up… Just throw up! (slams phone)
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: joe marks
Cube guy #1: I’m gonna need your help today getting into the client.
Cube guy #2: Didn’t you do what I told you to do yesterday?
Cube guy #1: Oh, yeah. That worked — I got in from the back end, but I want to get in the front of the box.
Cube guy #2: Well, to get in the front end of the client you need to follow a very different procedure.
Cube guy #1: Right, that’s what I need. I’m hoping you could give me a little direction if you’ve ever done it that way.
Cube guy #2: Sure, that’s the way I usually go in.
Internet company
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Cube Guru
Worker bee on phone: Isn’t your husband anointed? Well, why don’t you just have him lay hands on you, then?
171 17th Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*’s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Daughter-in-law cooing over another shopper’s baby: Awww — look at that face!
Mother-in-law: You’ll have one of your own soon.
Daughter-in-law: [Snorts] Talk to your son about that.
Mother-in-law: Well, that’s between the two of you, I think.
Daughter-in-law: You know how I am. If I don’t get what I want, I just go out and get it myself. Remember how I wanted a kitten?
Oxford Valley Mall
Langhorne, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Fellow shopper
Female paralegal: I was in the bank the other day and I saw this cop — oh my god, he was so gorgeous. I wanted to hold up the bank just to get his attention.
Male lawyer: Ever think of saying hello?
Cafeteria, Supreme Court
Nassau County, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Tech #1: So, my friend is going to ask his girlfriend to marry him, and he wants to secretly get her ring size.
Tech #2: Measure her finger while she’s asleep.
Tech #1: What if she doesn’t sleep very soundly? What if she wakes up and is like, ‘What’s this thing on my finger?’
Tech #2: Get her really hammered.
Tech #1: She doesn’t really drink…
Tech #3: Then just hammer her!
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: only girl in the office
Manager: Seriously, guys. We have to be careful…Anything like
that happens again, we’ll be up a paddle without a handle.
606 Folsom Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Eve Benson
Tech guy to intern: If you take that network diagram, cut and paste it into word, save it as an mp3 and play it back, it will be circus music.
Solana Beach, California
Orientation presenter: In all the code fives I've responded to over the years, there's only been one that involved a weapon. But if you hear “code five lobby” announced overhead, and then you hear shots fired, don't go into the lobby!
Albany General Hospital
Albany, Oregon
Overheard by: Naomi
