Tech manager: Okay, I gotta go finish writing this nasty gram to a client.
Account manager: Hurry up! I want puppies. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Oops, that sounded bad.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Cindy
Tech manager: Okay, I gotta go finish writing this nasty gram to a client.
Account manager: Hurry up! I want puppies. Puppies! Puppies! Puppies! Oops, that sounded bad.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Cindy
Account manager, yelling across the hall: He needs you to bring more photo paper, and black ink.
PR exec, yelling back: A black cape?
Account manager: No, ink!
PR exec: A cape?
Account manager: He wants ink!
PR exec: Why does he want a cape?
London
Canadia
Coworker #1: I feel as though I had a one night stand with this muffin. I only took one bite.
Coworker #2: It's not your fault that it's not the type of person you call back.
Coworker #1: This muffin's a skank.
Coworker #2: I want to marry this bagel.
Chicago, Illinois
Lady #1: I’ve always wanted to try the sales department.
Lady #2: Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a forest ranger.
Wall Street
New York City, New York
Checkout girl: Hi, how are… [Turns to employee at next register.] Have I ever told you how badly I want a pet monkey? Like, besides getting out of this hellhole, it’s, like, the only thing I want in life.
Oneida, New York
Overheard by: fellow customer in line
Technician: Man, I gotta go grab a smoke. I’ve been upstairs mixing chemo for hours!
427 Victor Street
Lincolnton, North Carolina
Overheard by: Suzette Truesdell
80-something man: Could you stop writing so hard? You're shaking the table.
60-something man: I can try, but I don't know what you expect me to do.
80-something man: I expect you to do more than try.
60-something man: Well, I expect you to stop making so much noise and talking to yourself!
80-something man: I can talk to myself if I want to!
60-something man: Well, I want you to shut the fuck up! Just shut the fuck up!
Orinda Public Library
Orinda, California
50-something woman on Stairmaster, to personal trainer: I've got the heart of a whore, and I want the body of a virgin.
Oakland, California
Elderly overweight coworker: Yes, it was expensive to take a taxi one city block everyday, but I didn't want to get raped.
Young uncomfortable male coworker: No, I don't blame you.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: not a rapist
Angry suit on cell: Get me the money or I take your ass to court. I’ll take your ass to court.
Barista: Ummm… sir? Can I get you something to drink?
Angry suit on cell: Yes, I’d like a triple mocha. [To cell.] I mean it. I’ll sue your ass, you greedy, lying Italian bastard.
Barista: Sir, would you like whipped cream on your mocha?
Angry suit on cell: Like hell you’ll get me the money by June. You were supposed to give it to me back in September. [To barista.] Extra whipped cream, thanks.
W Washington St
Ann Arbor, Michigan
