Wishes

Vet: Is Amanda* upstairs?
Amanda*: No, I'm downstairs.
Vet: Oh, she is? Okay, hold on.
(vet goes downstairs)
Amanda*: Did that really happen?
Vet tech: I dunno. I want a beer.

Veterinary Clinic
Mahattan, New York

Overheard by: Vicksburg

Office monkey #1: Sometimes I think it'd just be easier to be gay.
Office monkey #2: Except for the butt sex.
Office monkey #1: …I could take it.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Only woman here…

Coworker #1: Hey, dude, can you cover the office this evening? I have the runs.
Coworker #2: No, I think my daughter wants me to pick her up.
Coworker #1: Dang, man, I guess I'll just eat some cheese.

Mayport, Florida

Overheard by: Bluevain Thunder

Woman in hallway: Well, let me just lick it, put it in my mouth and drool all over it.

Stafford, Virginia

Office girl during lunch: I just want to move the nuts and eat the goo…

Lubbock, Texas

Angry With Me You Are?

Female coworker to male coworker: You're not even using your force. You just wanted me to feel good.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Alicia

African-American CSR to team manager: Sir, this customer says that he wants to speak to someone else. He says he doesn't want to talk with a “nigger.”
Team manager: Ask him how he feels about talking to a gay Asian man.

Round Rock, Texas

Middle-aged female suit: Yeah, that place has pretty good sandwiches. Plus, there's someone there I want to fuck.

Colonial Place Office Building
Arlington, Virginia

Not Even Pills Can Deliver That.

Female peon: I want to wear flats… I mean, my doctor promised me three more inches…
IT guy: Mine too.

Manhattan, New York

Admin #1, screaming: I'm toothless! I'm toothless! My bridge fell out. It fell under my desk!
Admin #2 to admin #3: We can only hope it was her front teeth.

Rochelle Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: hellbitch