Legal assistant to coworker: If I'm going to kill my liver, I'm sure as hell not going to let ibuprofen do it –I'm going to have fun and let alcohol do me in.
Durango, Colorado
Legal assistant to coworker: If I'm going to kill my liver, I'm sure as hell not going to let ibuprofen do it –I'm going to have fun and let alcohol do me in.
Durango, Colorado
Program manager: What about follow-on funding?
Scientist: Well, in my ideal world, we'd get the follow-on, and then I wouldn't have to do anything but sit in team meetings and spew hatred.
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Intern, after a lengthy conversation with a make-up artist: Oh, and by the way, I’m here to do more than have conversations about murder and rape…
Sargent Place
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker: I just thought of a cool new club idea. There’s a big warehouse-sized room with strobelights and trance music, everyone has a bicycle and is naked.
Monson Way
Tunbridge Wells, Kent
UK
Coworker in lunchroom: I just wanted a cake that said “your hair smells like lettuce”, and I shouldn't have to explain why!
Washington, DC
Cube dweller, about post-it: Do you want a fresh one or a used one? (pause) Heh, heh… Funny.
Office dweller: Um, well, can I have some tape?
Cube dweller: You're so needy.
Kentucky
Overheard by: Lucy
50-something lady on the phone: Do you want a sexual relationship or not? I thought that's what you wanted. (pause) I thought that's what you wanted! (pause) Yes, Victor, I've been taking my medicine. I've been taking my medicine on the same schedule every day!
Evansville, Indiana
Client: We’d like the design to stand out. But in a really subtle way.
437 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Programmer: I’m just saying that if, by some miracle Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps and Jerry Falwell had all died in a meteor attack…
Boss: I would convert. Right there. I’d become an instant christian.
Programmer: I would keep the sabbath holy.
Boss: I would keep the sabbath *fucking* holy. Hell, if god can manage to paralyze Paris Hilton from the waist down…
Programmer: I would start to tithe.
Boss: I would start to *fucking* tithe.
Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Overheard by: Chris Cardinal
Cubicle drone to neighbor: They don't want to be dicks. It's like they want us to be their surrogate dicks.
Redmond, Washington
