Tech support rep: …the accelerator card. No, the one connected to your array. OK, uplug that.
Pause
Tech support rep: OK, are you grounded?
Pause
Tech support rep: OK, gently pull it from the slot.
Pause
Tech support rep: Now lick it.
Pause, snickering, then slight panic.
Tech support rep: No sir. I was just kidding.
290 Donald Lynch Blvd.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Overheard by: James McCabe
Exec: I'm having problems receiving e-mail.
IT guy: It's the IMAP you are using. It's not compatible with the settings that you have in your program.
Exec: This is unacceptable. I want you to call IMAP and get this resolved immediately!
IT guy: I can't.
Exec: Why can't you do this?
IT guy: Because IMAP is out to lunch with HTTP.
Los Angeles, California
Receptionist: Do you have any extra wireless cords?
2777 Crystal Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Upset creepy man trying to get access to woman's room: I am wearing a $10,000 watch, you don't have to worry about me stealing anything.
Manager: For all I know, you killed someone and stole their watch.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ross79
Boss: I am sending emails like a wildman, I just can’t get them.
Assistant: Maybe your email box is full. Wait, no, you delete everything
Boss: Well, it could be full. I have 1,100 emails.
Assistant: Gah!
Boss: I’m not getting anything but this error message
Assistant: Wait, you’re getting an error message? That could be helpful; what does it say?
Boss: It just says “error”
Assistant: This is going to be a long day, huh?
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Teacher: This is David from Israel. Do you have any questions for David?
Senior student: Yes. Do you have air conditioning in your tents?
High School
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: IsraeliTexan
IT guy: Your laptop is not booting up because you have a stuck function key. What happened, anyway?
Rep (refusing to make eye contact): Yeah, I … uhhh, think I dropped something on it.
It guy: Like what?!
Rep: Ummm yeah, well, like my fist.
Fern Valley Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Boss, leaning over printer: I'm getting duplicates up the wa-doo-da!
Gay art director: I hate when that happens.
The Village
Manhattan, New York
Senior worker: Here, put this old information into the new database so we can clear out the clutter in the back room.
Junior worker: This is a floppy disk.
Senior worker: So?
Junior worker: So who has a floppy drive anymore?!
Senior worker: I'm sure someone here has a floppy drive. Just ask around.
(five minutes later)
Junior worker, shouting across office: Jack's got a place you can stick your floppy!
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: uncomfortable.com
Co-worker: That’s a great idea, get a robot to sell drugs so you don’t have to. That way, when the cops bust your robot, you don’t get in trouble, just your robot. Just think, there’s so many criminal activities you could automate, like robotic prostitutes. Until now I had thought our future was dark and grim, but how I’m seeing a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
115 Perimeter Center Place NE
Atlanta, Georgia
