Technology

Co-worker on phone: I will send it V. I. A. fax.

285 Primrose Lane
Fairfield, Connecticut

Boss: [Bryan], can you help me? I can’t seem to find my HTML. It’s just not there anymore.

15 Altarinda Road
Orinda, California

Building Engineer: A freon leak won’t kill you. It’ll just asphyxiate you a little.

2100 Second Street, SW
Washington, DC

Shipping Manager: I can’t hear anything on my phone whenever I make or receive a call. Can you check it out for me?
IT Director: Did you get your hearing checked?

4055 Casilio Parkway
Clarence, New York

Receptionist: Every couple weeks or so I have to come back here and molest the printer paper.

Seattle, Washington

Reporter #1: Did I just hear that someone got bit by a cow on the scanner?
Reporter #2: It’s possible. Some of them have really bad attitudes.

101 Avenue A
Conroe, Texas

Overheard by: Catherine

Sales: What was the the address again? WW..?
Manager: …W?
Sales: Yeah that’s it, that sounds right. WWW.

160 McClaren Road
Coraopolis, Pennsylvania

User: We want a tutorial on the website’s front page so we know how to use the website.
Tech: Well, from the front page, you just click on “Help”…
User: Yes, but we want the instructions themselves on the front page.
Tech: I’m sorry, no. The user’s only allowed to be so stupid here. They can click on the help button.
User: Oh, okay!

695 Palmer Drive
Raleigh, North Carolina

Disgruntled programmer: I would cut the head off a chicken right now and perform a Santeria ritual in order to get this program to work!

Newtown, Pennsylvania

IT drone to coworker: They're being invaded by blackberries, papayas and pygmy goats.
Coworker: Wow, that's rough. I've heard that that's a problem.
IT drone: Yeah, the goats especially.

Austin, Texas