Audience development director: Is anybody else having any weird computer issues? I'm having trouble on the main site and on admin…
Marketing director: The porn I'm looking at is taking an awfully long time to load, if that's what you mean.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
IT guy #1: Is that you beeping?
IT guy #2: No, I thought it was you.
IT guy #3: Fucking things, stop beeping!
Palmerston North
New Zealand
Coworker to another: Do you know who makes a Chrysler New Yorker?
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole B.
Office Tech: I don’t understand why this isn’t coming out in color. I’m using the color copier.
700 State Drive
Los Angeles, California
Reporter: Dude, her tweets were all over my site. And they weren't even relevant!
Palo Alto, California
IT guy on phone: Yeah, we had to let Sam* go this weekend. (pause) Yeah, the server's fixed. (pause) Uh, it's sort of weird. (pause) Yeah, well… He was on call rotation and got called in. He was high. (pause) He brought ten packs of pasta noodles with him, and jammed each noodle into the mail server intake fan. (pause) Something like that. He said the sound the noodles made against the Delta fans was the sound of the Microsoft demons being cast from the server. (pause) He managed to fill the server case with noodle shrapnel, which made the system overheat. (pause) How would I know if he successfully cast the demons from the server? (pause) No, it's still booting server 2008, if that's what you mean.
Winnipeg
Canadia
Guy #1: What’s “RedHat”?
Guy #2: That’s Linux.
Guy #1: The operating system?
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s just another name for it.
Guy #1: Like “Firefox”?
244 Wood Street
Lexington, Massachusetts
Office manager: Could you save this file somewhere in the system, please?
Receptionist: Where?
Office manager: Well, save it somewhere so that I could find it easily.
Receptionist, when manager leaves: Sure, bitch, I will do it, but don’t ask me if you can’t find it.
Office manager, returning: Excuse me?
Receptionist: Uh… I just said that I will save it in your directory, ma’am.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: jullylully
Techie: I’m sorry about the delay. We’re using a new system, and I liked the old system. I’m a creature of habit and resist change.
Customer: Tell me about it; I’m with the Archdiocese.
555 International Way
Springfield, Oregon
Health Exec: You working late?
Tech Exec: Nah, downloading porn. You?
Health Exec: Oh, you know it. Nursing administration porn. Woo-hoo!
Tech Exec: Send some my way. I’ll send you some telecommunications porn.
Health Exec: “Oh baby, show me your phone. Let me see your router.” Good times.
595 Market Street
San Francisco, California
