Volunteer #1: Man, Chipotle is so good, man!
Volunteer #2: Yeah, except it makes you have to go to the bathroom because of the hot sauce…
Volunteer #1: I's okay, man, you just take a Game Boy into the bathroom with you. Kills like a half hour.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Manager: Where's Mike Love's file? I need Love by 9 o'clock!
Richmond, Virginia
Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.
Memphis, Tennessee
New coworker: I can create files on my network drive now, and my car isn't on fire in the parking lot. This has been a good first day so far.
Ontario
Canadia
Central office tech: I'm not really sure how it works. I don't play with it very often.
Phone Company
Moorhead, Minnesota
Overheard by: Lord Baddkitty
Male computer tech to male computer user: Hey, if you let me get between you legs I can fix that issue.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Boss: How many servers do you think Google has?
Lackey: Infinite.
Boss: Infinite? You’re a retard.
15 Alatarinda Road
Orinda, California
Overheard by: choking on a brownie
Boss: I sent you an email.
Assistant: Oh, thanks.
Pause
Boss: You going to read it?
Assistant: No, I don’t do emails anymore. I gave that up.
Boss: Hmmm…. I like that. “I don’t do emails anymore”. I like that. I’m going to go with it.
Assistant: Yeah, it’s working for me so far.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker: I just love paying bills online — it is just so easy.
Blonde coworker: I know, it’s so great.
Coworker: The computer has really made things efficient.
Blonde coworker: I know — it is, like, sooo Antarctic to pay your bills by check nowadays.
30th floor, 55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Greg Case
Receptionist, on his last day: How can I give the rest of the staff access to these files?
Tech guy: Put them on the network.
Receptionist: Where’s the network?
Tech guy: Exactly! It’s everywhere, man!
University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
Overheard by: I’m New Here
