Last Time It Took Us Days to Get the Feathers Out of the Ceiling

Disgruntled programmer: I would cut the head off a chicken right now and perform a Santeria ritual in order to get this program to work!

Newtown, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 15, 2015
Animals, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Pennsylvania, Religion, Technology, Violence

I Think I've Seen This Porno…

Intern on phone: Uh-huh, yeah. We're staying with the nuns. Apparently you pray for an hour and then you can sleep there. I know.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 13, 2015
Interns & Temps, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Religion, Time Management, Travel

The Lord's Right on Top Of That Stuff

Coworker on phone: The baby was born retarded because her mother was a vegetarian. Thankfully the good Lord took her away.

Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 12, 2015
Coworkers, Death, Family, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Religion, Weirdness

I Really Don't Think He's the One Who Smashed Up My BMW

Exasperated boss, on phone with son: Oh, let's just leave Jesus out of this, okay?

Huntington, New York

Overheard by: Lady Lawyer

Posted on July 11, 2015
Bosses, Family members, New York, Offers and requests, On the phone, Religion

And 12-Year-Olds Killed in Terrorist Attacks

Tech guy: You know, I was thinking the other day — you know how when these terrorists die, they think they’re getting, like, 40 virgins? Well, it occurred to me that the only virgins up there will be all these 80-something-year-old nuns…

Corporate Drive
Orangeburg, New York

Overheard by: amused temp

Posted on July 7, 2015
New York, Possible Sexual Harassment, Religion, Tech People

Hey, That Loaf of Rye Was Totally Coming on to Me!

Boss: That’s what I hate about these people who take the Bible literally: it’s so pick and choose! What about all the parts where you get stoned for looking at bread the wrong way?

Print shop
Sunset Park, Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: milu