Co-worker #1: Hey, tell them that story you were telling me the other day. The one about Burger King.
Co-worker #2: What story about Burger King?
Co-worker #1: You know…you were with your dad or your father-in-law…
Co-worker #2: The story where my father had a heart attack because of a Burger King sandwich?
Co-worker #1: …Yeah.
Co-worker #2: That’s the story.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Employee #1: There’s a drunk guy outside who wants to know if we’re hiring any laborers.
Employee #2: Does he have a valid driver’s license?
1201 Yorkship Square
Camden, New Jersey
Office drone #1: What’s a funnier prank — if I tape the the receiver to the boss’s phone, or if I fix it so she can’t open the drawer?
Office drone #2: Um, maybe you should… [looks pointedly at returning boss behind drone #1].
Office drone #1: I know! I’ll glue her coffee mug to her desk. Bitch’ll be spewing!
Boss, standing right behind drone #1: Bitch is behind you.
Harris Street
Pyrmont, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: get back to work!
Female intern: Another intern?
Male manager: Yup. You're not so new anymore.
Female intern: What's his name?
Male manager: Dick.
Female intern: Really? I know a Dick.
Male manager: Do you?
Female intern: Yeah, I know like three Dicks!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: this wun guy
Luddite sales manager: What's “SSL”?
Lead developer: “Secure Socket Layer.” It's a…
Marketing manager, listening to iPod: Who's an insecure soccer player?
Software Company
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Kiwibloke
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Candidate: Knowing things. Like, knowing knowledge about everything.
Miller Avenue
Fontana, California
Interviewing manager looking at resume: This is what? Your middle name? What language is this?
Interviewee: It’s Hawaiian. I’m part Hawaiian.
Interviewer: Oh… So, did you have to wait for the white man to get there before you had a language?
San Diego, California
File clerk: So do the Summer Olympics happen every… eight years?
Law clerk: Um, four years.
File clerk: I'm taking this quiz. Is Canada in South America?
Law clerk: North America.
Law Office
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Perplexed
Student: This question doesn't make sense.
Professor: What do you expect? I'm not Goldilocks.
Every single student: What?
Professor: What? You're Goldilocks! You all are Goldilocks.
University of Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: All Three Bears
