Doctor to inmate: So what are they accusing you of this time?
Inmate: Oh, they're not accusing me, I did it.
County Jail Medical Office
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Molly
Punk chick on her cell: Which one did you pick? Oh, the one that can fuck?
Ralph’s
Los Angeles, California
Customer service rep #1: Is it raining?
Customer service rep #2: The ground is wet.
Customer service rep #1: But is the… air… wet?
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tom
African American worker #1: I don't claim African American. Who is to say I'm not Jamaican or Dominican Republic?
African American worker #2: Are you serious? Look at yourself!
African American worker #1: You can't make me black!
Hawkinsville, Georgia
40-something editor: Lunch? These youngsters are weak! Didn't you used to get through 15 hours on coffee and nicotine alone?
60-something editor-in-chief: And whiskey!
West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: I prefer Red Bull and Natty Boh
Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!
Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Not getting any either
Email: Let's welcome Joe Smith to the company. He will report to Bill Scott.
Copywriter #1: I find it distressing when I don't recognize the names of the supervisors. Are you sure Mr. Scott isn't really a robot?
Copywriter #2: Mr. Scott has been with this organization for at least three years. He is not a robot…or if he is, they did a damn good job making him look human.
Copywriter #3: Sounds like something a fembot would say.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Boss: You're not making up this crap about your grandmother dying, are you?
Analyst: No, do I have to prove it to you?
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Steve
Engineer #1: What is taking her so long?
Engineer #2: We're starving in here!
Engineer #1: Ya! Hasn't she ever heard of the Donner Party?!
Utah
Cube rat on phone: Do you have safety deposit boxes? (pause) And how big is your biggest one? (pause) 10 by 10? How deep are those? (pause) But…what's the third dimension? (pause) There is none? Um, okay, thanks anyway. Bye.
Washington, DC
