Questions

This Time Just Be a Bit More Emphatic with the “Ttthhhhbbtt”

CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.

Financial District
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Alan

Last Time I Go to Pizza Hutt

Cube mate #1 to cube mate #2: What did we eat? I just crapped an Ewok!

Savannah, Georgia

10AM Architects Meeting

Designer: So, there’s two kinds of erections, right?

40 24th Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Which We Purchase from a Dentist on the Street

Coworker #1: Yeah, I have syringes at home. Don’t you?
Coworker #2: No. Why? Does someone in your house have diabetes?
Coworker #1: No. Is this weird? Hold on, let me call my brother.
(a few minutes later.)
Coworker #1: Oh, well. They’re not syringes. They’re teeth whiteners.

West Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna

Next: Some Bad News About the Stork

Supervisor: I saw a unicorn just the other day!
Coworker #1: No, you did not. They're extinct.
Supervisor: What?
Coworker #2: What?
Coworker #1: They been extinct since Jesus's time!
Supervisor: You believe in mermaids?
Coworker #1: Well, duh, mermaids were around during Jesus too!
Coworker #2: Neither of those things exist.
Coworker #1: Ohmigod! Are you serious? But my mom told me when I was a kid!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Malikat

Can't We Just Change Channels by Punching Her?

Woman on phone: Did she eat the other remote? Well, then you need to call Verizon and get a new one!

Crystal City, Virginia

Because That Would Be Really Unpleasant for Me

Office manager, getting off phone: Well, that was awkward. She said that Jim died in march.
Accountant: He didn't leave any unpaid invoices, right?

Orange, California

Overheard by: Peon with a soul

3PM Coffee Break

Receptionist: You should use tap water instead of Poland Spring to make coffee.
Secretary: You make coffee your way, and we’ll make it our way.
Receptionist: How much do each of those jugs cost?
Secretary: What? Look, just…The water is brown and it smells bad.
Receptionist: The water is not brown and it does not smell bad.
Secretary: Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.
Receptionist: Since when is a known fact an opinion?

113 University Place
New York, NY

Spirit, Tell Me That These Things May Yet Be Chnaged! That I May Somehow Not Die Retarded!

Employee #1: Do you know Ebenezer's last name?
Employee #2: Scrooge?

Crystal City, Virginia

Overheard by: super dave

Pop Quiz: Which Employee Is Overweight? Show Your Work.

Male employee #1: What did you bring for lunch today?
Male employee #2: A salami sandwich.
Male employee #1: That's it? You can't just have salami as your main meat! You can garnish with salami, but you have to have other meat.

Des Moines, Iowa

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