Audience development director: Is anybody else having any weird computer issues? I'm having trouble on the main site and on admin…
Marketing director: The porn I'm looking at is taking an awfully long time to load, if that's what you mean.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Sarah
Male employee, angry about benefits: So my live-in girlfriend is not a domestic partner but Steve's* boyfriend is?
HR generalist: Yes, that's right. Domestic partners are same sex partners, that is the policy.
Male employee: So if my girlfriend became my boyfriend I could put her on my insurance?
HR generalist: Yes, if she grows a penis and discovers a deep abiding love for Cher, she can be on your insurance.
Male employee: Really?
HR generalist: (sighs)
Skokie, Illinois
Secretary on phone: You are too happy, you aren't there alone, are you? (pause) Mmmmhmm, it is hot. (pause) I'm gonna let you go and call that crazy Tom* (pause) Oh, you wanna do a three-way instead? Let me see what I can do.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Not in on the action
Designer: Have you seen [Dustin] around?
Writer: Nope.
Designer: Hmm. I haven’t checked his office yet.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Canadian: Is there anything I should know about Cuban business customs before we get started?
Translator: No.
Girl with tray of espressos walks in and hands one to each person.
Canadian: I don’t drink coffee.
Translator: You do today.
Cuban Health Ministry
Havana, Cuba
Overheard by: Drank the coffee
IT guy #1: Is that you beeping?
IT guy #2: No, I thought it was you.
IT guy #3: Fucking things, stop beeping!
Palmerston North
New Zealand
Man to friend: Whatever happened to good old-fashion cock? (turns to customer) Can I help you?
Wayme New Jersy
Overheard by: anthony
Boss: Don't forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Coworker to another: Do you know who makes a Chrysler New Yorker?
Ocala, Florida
Overheard by: Nicole B.
Girl: My mom dropped a plate and it shattered all over the floor and she cut her foot pretty bad. I was cleaning up the pieces…
Guy: Was it a paper plate?
(girl stares at him)
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: And he's not even blonde…
