You Can't Do That!

Customer on phone, about catalog CD: I will just shove it in real fast.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: That's What She Said

Posted on October 13, 2015
Customers, General Idiocy, Maryland, On the phone, Sexuality

What Else Do You Guys Want on the Pizza?

Coworker on phone: Scabies. (pause) No… Scabies. (pause, then louder) Scabies! (louder) S-c-a-b-i-e-s!!
(everyone in office looks at him)
Coworker, looking at coworkers and shaking head: Sorry, everyone!

Manhattan, New York

Posted on October 13, 2015
Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Words

Or I Hope He Did, Because Otherwise That’s Just Sad

Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.

Industrial Park Drive
Texas

Overheard by: peon incharge

Posted on October 8, 2015
Blue Collar, Compare and contrast, Default, Family, On the phone, Sexuality, Texas

For Him, That's Still Pretty Good

Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!

Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York

Posted on October 6, 2015
Family, Family members, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Medical, New York, Nurses, On the phone, Patients, Questions

Customers Are Starting to Complain

Sales rep answering phone: Sales department… Oh, hi… Really? Thank God, because I have been scratching down there all night!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on October 5, 2015
Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, On the phone

Hence the Wheelchair

Ad rep on the phone with client: So, Wendy isn’t my real name, but I changed it to Wendy, because I like Peter Pan so much. Like, even as a kid, I used to jump out of windows.

Gulf of Mexico Drive
Longboat Key, Florida

Posted on October 3, 2015
Cinema, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Names, On the phone, Weirdness

In an Unrelated Question, Where’s a Good Place to Buy Rat Poison?

Lady on phone: Let me ask you this: if she dies before the next payment is due, does she still have to make that payment?

Main Street
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: insensitive much?

Posted on September 26, 2015
Death, Default, General Idiocy, Missouri, Money, On the phone, Weirdness

9AM Back to Work

Engineer: I have this weird beeping signal on my phone. Do I need to dial a 1 when calling this number?

Tech support guy takes the phone and hits redial.

Tech support guy: No. That is a busy signal.

5032 South Ash Avenue
Tempe, Arizona

Posted on September 25, 2015
Engineers, General Idiocy, On the phone, Sensory Experiences, Tech People, Technology

He Always Bores Me with Inane Stories About His Kids

Worker: So, what did the phone company says about the phone line?
Boss: I don't know. The robot pick up the phone! I hate talking to a robot, so I hung up.

Greenwich Village
Manhattan, New York

Posted on September 23, 2015
Bosses, Employees, General Idiocy, New York, On the phone, Questions, Technology

All I Can Do Is Provide the Equipment to Capture It on Video

Receptionist on phone: If you want a three-way you're going to have to call them. I can't do that here.

Wilmington, Delaware

Overheard by: Mind bleach, please

Posted on September 22, 2015
Delaware, On the phone, Receptionists, Sexuality, Technology

On the phone

You Can't Do That!