Auto claims adjuster on phone: I'm authorized to offer you $1,000 for the pain and suffering I'm about to give you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Auto claims adjuster on phone: I'm authorized to offer you $1,000 for the pain and suffering I'm about to give you.
Brentwood, Tennessee
Guy on cell: I can hardly hear you. It sounds like you’re in a coffin.
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: brian
Male coworker #1 on conference call: You don't want to blow your credibility right out of the gate.
Male coworker #2: Let me tell you, I blow credibility every day.
Chicago, Illinois
Rep on phone: You ever hear of a mojito? Well, I just created a new drink: the bro-jito.
10 S. Riverside Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Syd O’Banion
CSR, after completing a phone call with customer: He just sounds strange on the phone. He's either foreign or from Canada. I don't know which.
Romulus, Michigan
Customer on phone, about catalog CD: I will just shove it in real fast.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: That's What She Said
Coworker on phone: Scabies. (pause) No… Scabies. (pause, then louder) Scabies! (louder) S-c-a-b-i-e-s!!
(everyone in office looks at him)
Coworker, looking at coworkers and shaking head: Sorry, everyone!
Manhattan, New York
Peon on the phone: My brother in-law’s sister is coming over tonight, I think I’m gonna nail her. [Pauses.] Why not? He nailed mine.
Industrial Park Drive
Texas
Overheard by: peon incharge
Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!
Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York
Sales rep answering phone: Sales department… Oh, hi… Really? Thank God, because I have been scratching down there all night!
Boston, Massachusetts
