Manager: Excuse me, sir, do you have me on speakerphone?
Guy: No, you have me on speakerphone!
Manager: Oh, look at that. Sorry, this is a bad connection — are you on a cell phone?
Guy: Yes, you called my cell phone.
Manager: Oh, right. Do you have a desk phone I can call?
Guy: No, you called my cell because I am not in the office. Now, what do you want?!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Is He Serious?
Coworker on phone: Aw, did he poop? (pause) Twice? Nice! (pause) Yeah, no, if it's loose you can't pick it up. (pause) Uh-huh. That's good.
7th Ave
New York City
Overheard by: Had to hold in his own.
Person on phone: “My bad” is out in Salt Lake City? Really? I’m just laughing because my son says that all the time. Do you guys say, “snap,” too?
401 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Listening In
Woman on phone: You need to have someone come by and fix the fan in the men’s restroom. If that thing is not working, we are dead, baby!
Kirtland Air Force Base
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office?
Government Office
Tampa, Florida
Coworker on phone: What? So even for a million pounds you wouldn't let her sit on your face?!
Soho
London
England
Customer care rep on phone: Okay, sir, we'll talk occasionally. (pause) Well, yes. (pause) Okay, sir, I have to go. (pause) I believe in Jesus! I believe in Jesus! (pause) Sir, my other line is ringing. I have to go.
Milpitas, California
Overheard by: Alisha
Cubicle dweller on phone: Watching movies is my version of speed reading.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: notaduhme
Exec assistant on phone: They’re gay boys, so… you know… maybe a little more stainless steel…
47th Street and Park Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker on phone: My boss wasn't coming in till noon, so I showed up at 11:30 and sat around till he showed up and took everyone to lunch for three hours, and we all got hammered. When we got back I practiced pool for an hour and then left. So, yeah, it was another productive day.
Malibu, California
Overheard by: Why did I come in at 9am
