Typist lady, answering the phone: Hello! How are you this morning? (pause) I'm wet.
Yaphank, New York
Overheard by: Junior
Typist lady, answering the phone: Hello! How are you this morning? (pause) I'm wet.
Yaphank, New York
Overheard by: Junior
Voice on phone coming out of an office: Really? Because I thought she only had one tit.
(cube dweller swings head around in disbelief)
Voice on the phone: You know like one of the Amazon ladies who shave their breasts off?
(cube dweller scurries away)
New Hampshire
Overheard by: David
Woman on phone with client: Let me put this to you another way: you pay for four hours with a whore. You buy her a catsuit. At the end of that time, you don't own the whore. You may still retain the catsuit but what good will that do you, since you're a 45-year-old balding fat guy? You might as well leave the catsuit with the whore.
Defense Contractor
Andover, Massachusetts
Bewildered call agent: No, ma'am, “Seattle” is not spelled with a “c,” if it were it would sound like… “cattle.”
Yakima, Washington
Overheard by: Moooo
(cell phone rings, CEO at urinal answers)
CEO: Hello? Yeah, hi. I'll be….
(another toilet flushes very loudly)
CEO: Guess where I am?
New Westminster, BC
Canadia
Overheard by: Knows the etiquette
CSR on phone: Please sir, stop yelling at me. (pause) You do not need to swear at me. (pause) You call me that one more time and I'm going to hang up. (pause) Yeah, I'm still here. (pause, then hangs up) The best part was he told me to die.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: headsethottie
Secretary to irate victim on the phone: Well, ma'am, perhaps it would help if you could remember the name of the prosecutor who handled your case…
Irate victim: Well… I don't remember his name, but I can tell you he was the meanest son of a bitch in that office!
Secretary, sighing: Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to be much more specific than that.
Virginia
Overheard by: Nice Little Lemur Girl
Passing tech on cell: Dude, I know! Seriously, my ass is leaking brown juice!
Denham Springs, Louisiana
Overheard by: Erin
Clued-out senior manager on phone with lawyer: I just want a translation of the document. It's written all in French. I'm from Ontario, we don't speak the language here. (pause) Well, I just want the gist of the document. I think he's suing us for defamation of character. (pause) The guy's a jerk.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
VP to assistant: Remember that one day, when we were doing it and we were on a conference call at the same time? That was a good day.
Fontana, California
