Boss to secretary: Can you clean your juice off my drawers?
Grandview, Ohio
Overheard by: Midnight Meat Train
Boss to secretary: Can you clean your juice off my drawers?
Grandview, Ohio
Overheard by: Midnight Meat Train
Lesbian: Just say it: Vagina.
Queen: Virgina?
Lesbian: Vagina!
Editor: I can’t wait till our first lawsuit…
W 35th
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: token chick
Mom, to young child: That’s just more junk. I’m not going to buy you something to write with. How ’bout I get you some candy instead?
Dollar store
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: it’s not all like this
Woman on phone: You need to have someone come by and fix the fan in the men’s restroom. If that thing is not working, we are dead, baby!
Kirtland Air Force Base
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Boss: Stop communicating!
Underling (sheepishly): Sorry.
New York
Kind supervisor: I just wanted to ask you to lower your voice a little bit. You must have gotten some good news on the phone, but you were a little rambunctious with the language. I think you said (whispering) “shit” three times during that call.
Embarrassed secretary: You ask so little of me, and I still can't do it. I mean, who has to tell a grown woman not to yell “shit” in a crowded office?
Government Office
Tampa, Florida
Employee #1: I need you to check this.
Employee #2: Why, because I'm Asian?
Employee #1: Aw, don't play the race card.
Employee #2: Oh, so now I'm a race car?
Tigard, Oregon
Engineer #1: You don't want me designing that machine. Not even if I was the last man on earth.
Project manager: If you were the last man on earth, who would there be to ask you to design it?
Engineer #2: The last woman on earth?
Engineer #1: I definitely wouldn't do it then. No matter what I did, she would make me wrong. Fuck that!
Paterson, New Jersey
Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um… Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh… What would… That… Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don’t know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.
98th Street and West End
New York, New York
Overheard by: adrienne
