New York

20-something blonde in crowded elevator: I keep doing weird things with my butt.

New York City, New York

Dan Brown Can't Find That, Either

Peon #1: What are you looking for?
Peon #2: A thesaurus.
Peon #1: Is that by Dan Brown?

Manhattan, New York

Employee #1: People hate smokers now.
Employee #2: They really do!
Employee #1: We’re piranhas.

2 Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: Patrick

Bus driver: Your bus pass isn’t working.
Passenger: Sorry, man, it should. I just got it yesterday… It’s new.
Bus driver: It’s just not working… Just come on anyway. I love you, man.
Passenger: Thanks, bro. I love you, too.

Downtown bus terminal
New York, New York

Ad Design #1: I’m having trouble of sleeping and was thinking of getting Ambien.
Ad Design #2: You’re too young to take sleeping pills. Have you tried crack?

151 West 34th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Sarah

PR agent: He’s greedy, and he’s a pirate, and he’s a whore.

350 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: editorial intern/slave

Manager: B.O.T.A. It's an anagram. Do you know what it stands for? “Bend over and take it up the ass.”
Employee: That's an acronym, not an anagram.
Manager: What? I didn't say acronym.

Oneonta, New York

Coworker #1: It says here, if a man's index finger is longer than their ring finger they're a third less likely to develop pancreatic cancer.
Coworker #2: Wait, this is your ring finger, right?
(people laugh)
Coworker #1: That's your 'fuck you' finger!

Manhattan, New York

Coworker to another: He was glowing like a pregnant woman!

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: netdpb

Account Exec #1: Your hair looks short today. Did you wash it this morning?
Account Exec #2: Yeah, I contemplated not washing it, but I decided I should.
Account Exec #1: Friday isn’t a hair washing day.
Account Exec #2: Well, I didn’t wash it yesterday.
Account Exec #1: [Lucy] can go a couple of days without washing her hair.
Account Exec #2: A couple of days?
Account Exec #1: Well, it’s more or less a question of whether or not her scalp is sweaty and smelly.

171 Madison Avenue
New York, NY