Male boss: Are those cupcakes handmade?
Female subordinate: We don't do hand jobs here!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: This isn't Starbucks
Male boss: Are those cupcakes handmade?
Female subordinate: We don't do hand jobs here!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: This isn't Starbucks
Supervisor #1: Anyone want any chocolate? I have three pounds.
Supervisor #2: From the boyfriend, huh?
Supervisor #3: I don’t think I could eat three pounds of anything. What could I eat three pounds of?
Supervisor #1: Ice cream. I could eat three pounds of ice cream.
Supervisor #3: I could definitely eat three pounds of ice cream. That’s kind of a gross thought, though.
Supervisor #1: It’s like eating a preemie.
200 New Canton Way
Robbinsville, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon hate v-day
Drone #1: I am trying really hard to stay away from these cookies on my desk.
Drone #2: Oh my God, tell me about it. Those cookies are GOOD.
Drone #1: Maybe if I look at how many calories they have, it’ll be easier to stay away. One cookie, 120 calories.
Drone #3: Well, how many calories are you supposed to have?
Drone #1: I don’t know. I think 2000 calories is supposed to be average.
Drone #3: And the cookies are 120? Then you can eat all you want!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Managing editor: Who didn’t have their salad tossed?
Wilmington, Delaware
Southern woman: No! You suck the head because that’s where all the juice is!
Confused employee #1: I thought your shirt said “Bite the head off and eat the meat!”
Confused employee #2: What the fuck are you sadistic bitches talking about?
Southern woman (laughing): Crawdads! I’m talking about crawdads!
West Fargo, North Dakota
Overheard by: Orion
Coworker #1: What are we getting for lunch today?
Coworker #2: Wang.
Coworker #1: Again? I'm sick of Wang.
Coworker #2: That's a lie, you never get sick of Wang.
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: Can't wait for my contract to end
Employee: Hi! Can I help you?
Woman: Can I have a six-inch BLT on Italian?
Employee: I’m sorry, we’re out of Italian.
Woman: Can I just have white bread?
Employee: That’s the same as Italian.
Woman: Do you have plain bread?
13600 Solomons Island Road
Solomons, Maryland
Overheard by: I hate Jared.
Supervisor: Hey, do you mind training a new hire and going over some calls?
Employee: Sure, let me just put away my taco.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: CDB
Male coworker, sipping from mug: I love peppermint tea!
Female coworker, also sipping from mug: Peppermint tea makes me fart.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: confusedbutamused
Employee #1: Why are you pulling all of those nuts off the shelf?
Employee #2: They were recalled because of the salmonella outbreak.
Employee #1: Oh. I didn't know there was peanut butter in those nuts.
Ohio
Overheard by: Sofa Kingdom
