Co-worker #1: Why are there empty containers in the fridge?
Co-worker #2: To keep them cold.
12 Bassett Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Co-worker #1: Why are there empty containers in the fridge?
Co-worker #2: To keep them cold.
12 Bassett Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Boss: Paychecks didn’t come again today. I can lend you money if you need it.
Employee: I have a wedding rehearsal dinner for 50 that I need to pay for this Thursday.
Boss: Well if I lend you the money to pay for it then I’m coming. Where is the dinner?
Employee: I’m not telling.
551 W. Cordova Road
Santa Fe, New Mexico
Rental manager: So I told my husband we should try that Enzyte or Extenze stuff. He was a little upset, but I told him, “you know what a big ol' slut I am, I wouldn't have married you if you didn't pay the bills and cut the mustard.”
Ypsilanti, Michigan
Employee, about coworker: Now, she is what we call an “amazon woman.” She's been known to eat puppies, kittens, and babies. You might have to jog a bit to keep up with her. Following the amazon woman to lunch is like chasing a wildebeest across the savannah.
Dallas, Texas
Lab tech #1: They're only 35 calories.
Lab tech #2: My fingers.
Lab tech #1: Yeah, but they smell yummy.
Omaha, Nebraska
Female coworker #1, walking back from bathroom: I'm so mad I ate that slice of pizza for lunch.
Female coworker #2: Did you just throw up?
Female coworker #1: No! If I did, then I wouldn't be mad.
Female coworker #3: Well, then maybe you should go back.
Manhattan, New York
Manager, preparing staff party: Oh my God, look! I cut so much cheese I got a blister!
City Centre Building
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: evil twin
Editor #1: I’ve developed a really bad habit.
Editor #2: What?
Editor #1: A can of Mountain Dew in the afternoon.
Editor #2: Be careful — Mountain Dew is the crystal meth of sodas.
770 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Fax Machine
Editor: It occurs to me that a pomegranate was not the best choice for fruit to eat at my desk.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Co-Worker #1: …and who ordered the salad?
Co-Worker #2: Marie*, but she left for the day.
Co-Worker #1: Is she okay?
Co-Worker #2: I hope so. She was crying when she left. I guess the police called and said her 7-year-old daughter was a town over from where she was supposed to be, and no one knows where the sitter went.
Co-Worker #1: Oh, that’s awful. [long pause] So you think that means I can eat her salad?
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
