Coworker before meeting: Okay, let me go grab some paper and pen and pretend to care.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: AA
Coworker before meeting: Okay, let me go grab some paper and pen and pretend to care.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: AA
Coworker on phone: Hi, Sally*. How you been? Working hard, or.. (cough cough)
Voice on speaker phone: Hi–you okay?
Coworker: (cough) Yes… (cough cough)
Voice: Okay, then. Well, I took a look at the accounts…
Coworker: (cough cough cough)
Voice: And I noticed our balance…
Coworker: (cough) Or hardly working?
Voice: What?
Melville, New York
Technician, while taking group picture: Okay, everyone gather together and pretend that you're happy!
Advisor: What?!
Technician: Um… Picture time! Yay!
Johns Hopkins University
Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Coworker #1: What are we getting for lunch today?
Coworker #2: Wang.
Coworker #1: Again? I'm sick of Wang.
Coworker #2: That's a lie, you never get sick of Wang.
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: Can't wait for my contract to end
College girl #1: We just hung out last night.
College girl #2: Sure! (giggles) What is that? (points to friend's hair)
College girl #1: What? I still have cum in my hair!
Barnes & Noble
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Woman on cell in shoe store, sighing: Yes, honey, I'm still at the DMV, the lines are horrendous!
Buena Park Mall
Buena Park, California
Overheard by: Glad I'm not married to her
Worker on phone: Yes, ma’am, we’ll get you what you need right away… Well, thank you, Linda*. We enjoy your business. You’re one of my favorite customers. Without you our company would suffer a tremendous loss. Okay… Thank you. [Hangs up.] Bitch.
7501 NE Loop 820
Texas
Overheard by: lmao
IT worker in bathroom: Out of all the people I could impersonate electronically, you would be my favorite!
Columbus, Ohio
CSR: Today needs to be over. I’m so seriously ready to slit my wrists–
The phone rings.
CSR: Good afternoon. This is [Nelly], how can I help you? Oh…hi! How are you doing?…Oh, I’m great! Mm-hmm, yes, of course! I just have to pull up your previous order…Oh, really? Oh! Well, that’s okay!…No, really!…Oh, stop it! Ha, ha! Okay, well thanks for calling anyway! Yes…Thank you, I will! You also, okay? M’kay, bye!…Jesus. Okay, so, what the fuck was I saying again?
950 Tower Lane
Foster City, California
Chubby worker to young girl: Your hat is so cute! My niece would love it. Where did you get it?
Young girl in beaded hat: Limited Too!
Chubby worker, after girl has left: I don't have a niece. I will have that hat!
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
