Receptionist: A patient just tried to cancel her appointment that's in two hours. Said she was stuck in Dallas. I told her we didn't have any openings for a month.
Coworker: Why? We have openings tomorrow.
Receptionist: Because she's not in Dallas, she called from home. Caller id, helloooo. She'll be here…
Dental Office
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Caller ID…hellloooo
Co-worker #1: …I think you have a future in fertilizer sales, man.
Co-worker #2: I wouldn’t be surprised.
20 Park Plaza
Boston, Massachusetts
Technician: We don’t make mistakes. We may create new opportunities and challenges, but we don’t make mistakes.
645 Paper Mill Road
Newark, Delaware
Co-worker #1: Will someone please tell me what the fuck is wrong with [Josh]? When he gets up in the morning does he have some kind of funhouse mirror? Does he fucking see Tom Cruise when he looks in the mirror in the morning? Because when I look at him I just see an asshole.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: He is bullshiting everyone and saying he slept with the new CSR.
Co-worker #2: Does it really matter? She don’t speak English!
2801 Red Lion Road
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Manager: We’ve noticed that you haven’t responded to the anonymous survey. We’d like your feedback as soon as possible.
32nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Manager: Remember, the customer is always right.
Assistant manager: Right, except when they’re wrong.
Manager: No, they’re always right.
Assistant manager: Totally, except on the odd occasion when they’re wrong.
Manager: …you are so retarded…
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Coworker before meeting: Okay, let me go grab some paper and pen and pretend to care.
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Overheard by: AA
Coworker on phone: Hi, Sally*. How you been? Working hard, or.. (cough cough)
Voice on speaker phone: Hi–you okay?
Coworker: (cough) Yes… (cough cough)
Voice: Okay, then. Well, I took a look at the accounts…
Coworker: (cough cough cough)
Voice: And I noticed our balance…
Coworker: (cough) Or hardly working?
Voice: What?
Melville, New York
Technician, while taking group picture: Okay, everyone gather together and pretend that you're happy!
Advisor: What?!
Technician: Um… Picture time! Yay!
Johns Hopkins University
Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Coworker #1: What are we getting for lunch today?
Coworker #2: Wang.
Coworker #1: Again? I'm sick of Wang.
Coworker #2: That's a lie, you never get sick of Wang.
Glastonbury, Connecticut
Overheard by: Can't wait for my contract to end
