Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Female coworker: That's it. I'm going to the store and get some tampons. I'm tired of stuffing toilet paper in me.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Nurse: I hate you, you're so skinny.
Patient: I have Crohn's disease.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: another patient
Female clerk: Did you eat yet?
Male clerk: Yeah, I’ve been here since 1:30.
Female clerk: Ooh! Then can I lint-brush you?
Convenience Store
Brighton, Massachusetts
Convenience store worker #1: This coffee area is a mess.
Convenience store worker #2, at cash register: I just cleaned my butt off on Sunday.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Rob W
Pregnant woman in meeting: This is Kate, she'll be taking over for me, since I'll be leaving in March to reproduce.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Really?
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.
110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Joan
Coworker, on taking kids to get flu shots: When I took them, they were great. They only cried a little. My daughter said, “daddy, I feel safer doing shots with you.”
Grapevine, Texas
50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.
Medical Center
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.
