Older boss: Healthcare needs competition to remain good. Just look at Lasik and boob jobs! Because those are paid for privately, they are affordable and high quality.
20-something underling: How would you know about the quality of boob jobs?
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Will
Employee (during global teleconference with CEO): I don't have a question, but I just wanted to thank you for the opportunity to work here. Although I am deaf, it hasn't stopped me from having a chance of proving myself.
CEO: I appreciate your comment. That is a subject that is near and dear to my heart, since I have a son who is deaf.
Employee: What?
New Jersey
Overheard by: Snickering
Pretty blonde girl: Umm, excuse me, but do you have a tampon? I'm desperate.
Obese, sassy librarian: Yeah, I have one. But it's inserted.
Monson Free Library
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy in stall #1: Hey, what’s up? Yeah, okay. You still wanna do that today?
Massive eruption occurs from next stall.
Guy in stall #2: Huh? Oh, that… I’m taking a shit right now…
Livermore, California
Overheard by: Stephen
Redhead peon: I think I’m getting a migraine.
Blonde peon: Well, like… At least your butt’s not peeling!
44135 5 Mile Road
Plymouth, Michigan
Coworker on phone to business contact: So, are you talking about fecal year 2008 or 2009?
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: analyst
Caller: I am calling about a claim that was denied last week.
Insurance customer service: Which claim is that, ma'am?
Caller: The one from my doctor's visit while we were in Hawaii.
Insurance customer service: Well, ma'am, your policy doesn't cover international medical claims–so your doctor's visit in Hawaii wouldn't be covered.
Denver, Colorado
Repair tech: My customer just called in and told me that his trans-vaginal probe is vibrating.
Cube dweller: And that's a problem because…?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Line cook: Man, did you fart?! Uhhh! That stinks!
Cute waitress: No, that's my breath.
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Marcus
Colleague to another who has been ill: Your doctor's sick note looks like it came from a vending machine.
Cape Town
South Africa
