Grunt: Man, this consultant is absurdly high maintenance. I swear, the woman’s going to ask for a pony next!
Boss: Just get her what she wants. We need her on-board.
Grunt: Well, if she gets a pony, I want one, too.
Washington, DC
Grunt: Man, this consultant is absurdly high maintenance. I swear, the woman’s going to ask for a pony next!
Boss: Just get her what she wants. We need her on-board.
Grunt: Well, if she gets a pony, I want one, too.
Washington, DC
Co-worker: So I was at the deli, and I asked for a third of a pound of meat. I asked the lady twice. She then gave me 1.5 pounds of meat. I said, “Excuse me, this isn’t a third of a pound.” Then she said,
“Yes, it is.” Then I said, “No, it’s not.” So then she turns and asks her co-worker behind the deli counter how much a third of a pound is, and her co-worker replies, “Oh, a third of a pound is .75.”…This is why I hate the South.
115 Perimeter Center Place
Atlanta, Georgia
Awkward bald man, walking into conference room: Does this work for you?
Obviously lesbian woman meeting with him: Whatever you want, this is all about you.
Awkward bald man: Wow! I wish my wife would say that! She never says anything like that.
Richmond, Virginia
Nurse: I think I have worked at every hospital around here. If I ever get anything stuck up my ass, I’m going to have to drive, like, 4 hours to find a hospital where nobody knows me.
100 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Producer guy #1: She’s just awful.
Producer guy #2: And it’s not like she’s smokin’ hot!
Producer guy #1: Yeah, if you can’t act at least be smoking hot.
10201 West Pico Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Co-worker: It’s been my 12th year in this godforsaken country and I never made it past Baltimore.
2910 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Shara Jenkins
Nurse #1: Do you want me to go through your legs?
Nurse #2: I can’t believe you don’t want to go through my legs to find the lower hole.
Nurse #1: Well, pull out the first one so I can see!
Nurse #2: Is it in?
Nurse #1: I don’t know, I can’t feel anything!
Nurse #2: I’m gonna pee my pants! I can’t believe there’s no one here to see this!
2990 Mack Road
Fairfield, Ohio
Overheard by: Kimmie
Tech guy: It will take Zeus and all his pissed off gods going in and throwing all sorts of thunderbolts to straighten this out.
1 Dell Way
Round Rock, Texas
Painter in room with painters’ tape everywhere: Do you like the new colors?
Customer: I don’t like the blue stripes.
Concord, New Hampshire
Overheard by: another painter
