11AM Ergonomics Seminar

HR clerk: Maureen* broke another chair. Should I order her another chair designed for a person over three hundred pounds, or should I order an even stronger chair?
Manager: No! I am going to tell the maintenance guys to put her desk up on blocks! Then, I am going to tell Maureen that her job description has changed! She is now required to stand up to do her job!
[manager leaves] HR clerk: Well, it is not going to be me that tells him that one of the toilets in the women’s restroom is broken.

5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Posted on October 12, 2014
Bosses, Diet & Weight, Gripes, Human Resources, Mississippi, Questions, Restroom, Southeast

3PM Coffee Break

Receptionist: You should use tap water instead of Poland Spring to make coffee.
Secretary: You make coffee your way, and we’ll make it our way.
Receptionist: How much do each of those jugs cost?
Secretary: What? Look, just…The water is brown and it smells bad.
Receptionist: The water is not brown and it does not smell bad.
Secretary: Well, you’re entitled to your opinion.
Receptionist: Since when is a known fact an opinion?

113 University Place
New York, NY

Posted on October 6, 2014
Comebacks, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, Money, New York, Questions, Receptionists

Your Sausages Bite?

Asian boss on phone: Where are you at right now? Oh, Miami?! I hate the mosquitoes there! They bite me like a sausage!

11020 Rush Street
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 6, 2014
California, Dumb Bosses, Gripes

5PM That’s a Wrap

Broker #1: Why is she laughing?
Broker #2: She already told you — she thinks it’s funny to buy gag candy and make everyone in the office fart.

Broker #1 laughs.

Broker #2: I mean, she’s so young. We all want to kill the other people in the office and she just wants to make them fart.
Broker #1: Look at her, she’s still laughing.
Broker #2: Ah, youth. All they do is giggle.

399 Park Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: LH

Posted on October 6, 2014
Age and ageing, Financial Folk, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, New York, Violence

Through the Middle of the Tub

Office grunt: Well, I asked for the guys to fix the electricity, but they built a wall in my bathroom!

Paris
France

Posted on October 6, 2014
Coworkers, Gripes, Paris

Don’t Anyone Give Her a Touch Pad

IT Consultant Guy: You gotta stop answering the phones all sexy. No one else can concentrate.

2620 Hillsborough Street
Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Office Kitty

Posted on October 3, 2014
Consultants, Gripes, North Carolina

I'm a Cyborg

Technical support worker on phone: I am not a robot!

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: RockJonny

Posted on October 1, 2014
Gripes, New Zealand, Tech People, Technology

They’ll Strap Me to a Chair and Force Me to Look at Anne Geddes Photographs

30-something woman: Are you going to the baby shower?
20-something girl: No. Being in a room full of women talking about babies is my worst nightmare.

401 Congress Avenue
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: athens

Posted on September 30, 2014
Coworkers, Gripes, Hiring & Firing, Questions, Texas

Surprisingly Effective

Male supervisor who drives a PT Cruiser: My car’s as much of a chick magnet as me walking into a room without a shirt on making farting noises with my armpit.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on September 27, 2014
Bosses, Gripes, New Jersey, Sexuality

The Violence Is Good, But I Always End Up Married to Some Vietnamese Girl

Male interviewer: So where are you from?
Female applicant: I’m from here, but all my family is from Vietnam.
Male interviewer: Yeah? My ex-wife is from Vietnam. Ever since that war over there, I haven’t really been a fan of wars, ya know?

Doc Green’s, Cumberland Boulevard
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on September 26, 2014
General Idiocy, Geography & History, Georgia, Gripes, Interviewers/Interviewees, Places, Questions, Relationships, Violence

Gripes