Gripes

Actually, That’s What Happened to My Ankles

Sales guy: How can you sit like that? It’s disgusting.
Information specialist: I have weak ankles. I’m sorry I disgust you.
Sales guy: You don’t disgust me, just the way you sit. Besides, you’re always making fun of my women.
Information specialist: Say, do you have one of those auto-lifts in your bedroom?
Sales guy: I see what you’re saying. Because I like big women.
Information specialist: I mean, in case you get pinned or something.
Sales guy: Funny thing is, I know how to maneuver one of those, from a previous job.
Information specialist: I’ll take that as a yes.

Washington DC

Clears That Cancer Right Up

Nurse: People just keep calling me and calling me about getting pain pills called in. They just need to be a little sauced up — then they’d be fine!

14100 Parkway Commons Drive
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Didn’t I Tell You? I’m Guilty.

Defense attorney: I’m going back to the office. God, I hate days like this. Losing blows.
Defendant: Hey, sorry, man. But, really, you didn’t have a chance.

300 East Bay Street
Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Jess

Hmm, Are You Thinking About Jessica Simpson?

Girl on phone with IT: Mine's minimized and I can't get it up!

Littleton, New Hampshire

Overheard by: TMI

4PM I’m Going Home

Co-worker: Ugh…
Manager: What’s the matter?
Co-worker: Nothing, I just couldn’t see the screen.
Manager: Oh. Was everything flesh colored and blurry? That’s from putting your hand in front of your face.

1390 Timberlake Manor Parkway
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Durp

9AM Grab a Cup

Boss: Oh good morning, would you like some coffee?
Building Manager: Oh, I don’t think so.
Boss: Oh, have some.
Building Manager: No, thanks. It’ll just make me perspire. I had a cup and a half before I left for work this morning and my makeup slid right off my face.

3040 M Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Chris

3PM Smoke Break

Marketer: So after sitting in her funky trailer for about 2 hours
listening to her talk about God, this lady was like, “Baby…I have been reading my Bible for 53 years…and I can tell you read your Bible, too…” So, I in my best Southern voice, said, “Yes, ma’am…I
read my Bible every day. I try to live my life according to the
Word.” But, I was just bullshitting. I’m probably going to hell. I mean she is like 90 and lives in a single-wide behind her daughter who lives in a double-wide…She can’t wipe her own ass…She’s about to die…and I am lying about reading the Bible. But we had a patient pass yesterday and we need one to take his place. Gotta keep the bodies moving…gotta get that bonus. Y’know?

1441 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina

For the Last Time, Attending to Your Cuticles Isn’t Your “Job”

Receptionist: Ugh! I don’t understand how I can do my job when the phone keeps ringing!

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: doing her job

A Very, Very Prescient Developer

QA Manager: Who hard-coded loss of revenue into our product?

5720 Peachtree Parkway
Norcross, Georgia

… While Janelle Gets a Towel for Her Chair

Trainer: Let’s go around and have each of us tell the class some juicy, private thing about ourselves that the rest of us might not know.
Trainee: I don’t want to tell anything about my juicy privates… Uh, juicy… Um… Anything private.
Trainer: … Okay… Next?

810 3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington

© 2026 OverheardinTheOffice.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist