Manager, hearing loud sounds of construction hammering: They're supposed to do their banging at night!
Lehi, Utah
Overheard by: Still Snickerin'
Female Co-worker: Even if I was a woman, I wouldn’t put a Chippendales calender on my desk.
12602 W. Bridger Street
Boise, Idaho
Matronly office drone: The internet keeps playing games; it keeps going down on me. (pause) Wait, that sounds bad.
Bellevue, Washington
Broker #1: Ok, here’s one: would you rather lick the bulge on Johnny’s* leg or eat the skin that Peter* peeled off his foot last year?
Broker #2: As sick as this sounds, I’d take Johnny’s bulge in a second. I had to sit next to Peter. His foot had a crack in it so deep you could stick a pencil in it.
440 South LaSalle
Chicago, Illinois
Lab tech, during fire evacuation: Paul*, get out of the shade. It’s not in the safety zone.
Paul: But I’m fat. I can’t stand in the sun.
650 Cathill Road
Sellersville, Pennsylvania
Boss: Those are pretty. Who are they from?
Secretary: Myself. Sorry men send flowers. I don’t need any sorry men in my life.
8555 United Plaza Boulevard
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Coworker angrily hanging up: Geez! What is wrong with these customers?! I’m trying to watch a colo-rectal comedy on UTUBE!
2600 Van Buren Street
Norman, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Nina
Coworker, in graphic design lab: Now I have balls in my ass, too!
Utica, New York
Overheard by: dont wanna know
Attorney: A partner just caught me licking yogurt off my sweater.
Clerk: You’re definitely getting another raise.
Attorney: It was right on the boob.
Clerk: Wow, a raise and a bonus. You’re a real go-getter.
717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC
Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.
Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!
Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG The IQ level here is amazing
