Co-worker #1: Now I feel bad about us putting those moving boxes in his cube the other day.
Co-worker #2: Why? he thought it was funny at the time.
2401 Utah Ave South
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker #1: Now I feel bad about us putting those moving boxes in his cube the other day.
Co-worker #2: Why? he thought it was funny at the time.
2401 Utah Ave South
Seattle, Washington
Girl #1: I use the pull and pray method.
Girl #2: Girl, pull and pray…they never do it. It doesn’t work.
Girl #1: Yes it does! It just doesn’t work ninety percent of the time.
45 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: not dating either of them
Co-worker #1: Ew!
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: His internet history has porn on it!
Co-worker #2: Really?
Co-worker #1: Yeah!
Co-worker #2: Like what?
Co-worker #1: A whole bunch of free stuff from [Fleshbot].com. I can’t believe this.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know…
Co-worker #1: I mean…I don’t care if he does this at home, but not at this computer…We work in here!
Co-worker #2: Yeah…Sure…What was that site again?
41 West Clinton Avenue
Tenafly, New Jersey
Boss: You told me that before.
Office worker: How do you know?
Boss: I have a photogenic memory.
2 Walters Lane
Point Pleasant, Pennsylvania
Co-worker: If he was any more by the book, he’d have a cover on him.
3160 Charlestown Road
Martinsburg, West Virginia
Co-worker #1: I really need to do Yoga again.
Co-worker #2: Do you want my Yoga tapes? I don’t do it anymore, because my dog just won’t leave me alone when I’m down on all fours.
57 East Green Street
Champaign, Illinois
Female attorney to secretary: Even the three-ways are a pain in the butt.
Asheville, North Carolina
Art Director: We had another “captain literal” sighting in a client
meeting today. People are stupid.
Copywriter: Be less creative. It always works for me.
930 S. Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Customer: … And it’s Miss Jameson*, not ‘missus.’ Why does everyone always assume you’re married to some asshole?
801 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC
Underling: Is that what you need?
Boss: I was asking for a shark with laser beams, and I got a manatee with flashlights? Thanks.
Kadena Air Base
Okinawa, Japan
Overheard by: R U Shittin’ Me
